一分鐘的好笑的英語笑話

　　笑話是一種重要的交際手段,在人們的日常生活中起著重要作用，在各國文化中佔據著重要地位。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”

　　有一天，人們看見一個有名的心不在焉的老師在路上走，他的一隻腳一直踏在街溝裡，另一隻腳踩在人行道上。 一個碰見他的學生說： “晚安，老師。您怎麼了?” “啊，”這位老師回答說：“我想我離開家的時候還挺好的，可是現在我不知道出了什麼毛病。我已經一瘸一拐走了半個小時了。”

　　篇二

　　It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be good.”

　　“Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”

　　比利和波比都是小男孩。他們是兄弟，兩人經常打架。 上個星期六，他們的媽媽對他們說：“我現在要做午飯了。去，到花園去玩吧，別淘氣。” “是，媽媽，”兩個男孩回答，然後他們就出去了。他們在花園裡玩了半個小時，然後比利跑進了廚房。“媽媽，”他說：“波比打碎了艾倫太太家的窗玻璃。”艾倫太太是他們的鄰居。 “他是個壞孩子，”他的媽媽說。“他是怎麼把玻璃打碎的?” “我朝他扔了一塊石子，”比利回答：“他趕緊蹲下。”

　　篇三

　　My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　　我丈夫馬上就要回來了

　　一個已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時，女朋友要求他剃去鬍鬚。

　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的鬍子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”

　　詹姆斯回答說，“我的妻子喜歡我的鬍子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。”

　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說道。

　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這鬍子。”

　　在女朋友再三請求下，他終於屈服同意了。夜裡，在妻子熟睡時，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應該在這裡，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。”

　　篇四

　　Things Have Been Okay

　　A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, Mom, the toast is burned.

　　You talked! You talked! Shouted his mother. I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?

　　Well, up till now, Said the boy, things have been okay.

　　一切都正常

　　一對年輕夫婦有個兒子，已經四歲了，還沒有開口說話，他們對此深感焦慮。他們帶他去找專家診治，但醫生們總覺得他沒有毛病。後來有一天早上吃早餐時，那孩子突然開口了：媽媽，麵包烤焦了。

　　你說話了!你說話了!他母親叫了起來。我太高興了!但為什麼花了這麼長的時間呢?

　　哦，在這之前，那男孩說，一切都很正常。

　　篇五

　　Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words.

　　One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.

　　After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, "OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.

　　從前，有個人很富有，但他不識字。

　　一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一頭公牛，便寫了個條，讓僕人送到富人那裡。 僕人把條子給了富人。富人便假裝看了一會兒，然後說道：“好啦，我知道了。回去告訴你的主人，我馬上自己過去。”