短的爆笑英文小笑話大全

　　笑話是幽默的一個屬概念 ,具有幽默的一切特徵。笑話是民族特有幽默的一種形式。小編分享短的爆笑英文小笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：THE RABBIT AND THE SNAKE

　　A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.

　　The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.

　　He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."

　　The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.

　　He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..."

　　The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：DEPARTMENT OF FISH AND WILDLIFE WARNING

　　The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish.

　　They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly.

　　They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of an encounter with an alligator. It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.

　　Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.

　　Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：I'VE GOT A BEAR BEHIND

　　Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.

　　The black bear says, "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have sex."

　　He bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.

　　Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him.

　　The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, "Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

　　Bill bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged!

　　Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear.

　　The polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：IS THAT YOUR DOG?

　　A timid little man, walked into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

　　A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

　　"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."

　　"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"

　　"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."

　　"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"

　　"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

　　短的爆笑英文小笑話：LIFE AS A MOLE

　　A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!"

　　The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maplesyrup! I smell maple syrup!"

　　The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses...."