關於初一簡短英語笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現象,它輕鬆詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：忠告“年輕者”

　　A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirementcommunity. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."

　　這裡想對將要退休者提一點忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，

　　千萬別進退休社群。因為那裡人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的幹吧。”

　　：醫生住在樓下

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。

　　“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”

　　他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”

　　：One Engine Left 

　　***只剩一個引擎***

　　A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r

　　esult."

　　Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

　　At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

　　一架747客機正在跨越大西洋時，喇叭裡傳來了機長的聲音：“旅客們請注意，我們的四個引擎中有一個丟失了。但剩下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時　。” 過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到機長的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎麼啦　?我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了。只有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。” 正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地說：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們再掉一個引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

　　：Bring me the winner

　　 ***給我那個打贏的吧***

　　-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

　　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

　　-- Well, bring me the winner then.

　　-- 服務員，

　　這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。

　　-- 對不起，先生，這隻肯定打過架了。

　　-- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。

　　：Mommy is hitting the bottle

　　A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During herstruggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

　　一個婦人正在使勁開啟番茄醬的瓶子。這時，電話鈴響了，她叫四歲的女兒去接電話。小孩說：“媽媽現在不能接電話，她在砸瓶子。”