關於初中生必讀英語笑話

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：我需要器官移植

　　The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."

　　這個病人顯得很堅決。“醫生，我需要做肝臟移植、腎臟移植、心臟移植、角膜移植、脾臟移植、胰腺移植和。。。” “你為什麼認為你需要做這麼多移植手術?”病人回答：“哦，是這樣，我的老闆說如果我這個人不重新組裝的話，就別想保住我的工作!”

　　：Chaude and Cold 熱與冷

　　A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."

　　"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

　　"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."

　　"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."

　　蒙特利爾咖啡館的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的水龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。“這太可惡了，”他抱怨道，“標著C的龍頭流出的是開水。”

　　“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法語裡代表'熱'。如果您住在蒙特利爾的話就應該知道這一點。”

　　“等等，”那位顧客咆哮著，“另外一個龍頭標的也是C。”

　　“那當然，”經理說道：“這個C代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。”

　　：Free advice? 免費的建議?

　　A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

　　"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

　　醫生和律師正在一個宴會上交談。他們的談話常被一些人打斷，那些人向醫生描述自己的病症，期望獲得免費的治療建議。如此這般一個鐘頭後，醫生有點惱火，於是他問律師：“如果不在辦公時間，你是怎麼阻止人們向你諮詢法律問題的?”

　　“我會給他們建議，”律師回答，“然後我會給他們寄去帳單”。醫生很震驚，但他還是決定這麼試一試。第二天，帶著點犯罪感，他準備了帳單。當他準備將它們放到郵箱裡時，發現了一張來自律師的帳單。

　　：新發現 New Discovery

　　一個鄉下人第一次到大城市遊逛。他走進一座大樓，看見一個歲數很大的矮胖女人邁進一個小房間。房間的門隨後關上，有幾個燈在閃亮。一會兒，門開了，電梯裡走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。

　　鄉下人驚奇地眨著眼睛，慢吞吞地說：“我應該把我的老婆帶來!”

　　New Discovery

　　A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.

　　Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"

　　：其餘的事由我負責

　　一位車上的列車員剛發出訊號讓火車啟動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節開啟的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂裡另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。

　　“快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關上。”

　　“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。

　　“請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其餘的事由我負責。”

　　I'll See to the Rest

　　A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

　　"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"

　　"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

　　"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."