關於適合初一的英語笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現象,它輕鬆詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。小編整理了 ，歡迎閱讀!

　　 ：Investigating a terrible accident

　　There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogatethe monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.

　　The police chief asks, "What were the people doing on the bus?"

　　The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun.

　　The chief asks, "Yeah, but what else were they doing?".

　　The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.

　　The chief says, "Oh! They were drinking, huh??!" The chief continues, "Okay, were they doing anything else?"

　　The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.

　　The chief loses his patience, "If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?"

　　The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.rrible accident

　　 ：Good Doggie

　　One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

　　Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse."My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill."What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died."

　　Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"

　　To which the man replied, "Get in line."

　　 ：Two Old Men

　　Two old men were sitting on a porch with a hound dog between them. The dog had its leg hiked up and was licking itself. One of the old men said to the other, "I sure do wish I could do that."The other old man said, "You better not, that dog will bite you."

　　 ：Talking Dog

　　In Mississippi, a guy sees a sign in front of a house:

　　"Talking Dog for Sale."

　　He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

　　"You talk?" he asks.

　　"Yep," the mutt replies.

　　"So, what's your story?"

　　The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm justretired."

　　The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

　　The owner says, "Ten dollars."

　　The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"

　　The owner replies, "He's just a big liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."

　　 ：Frog Loan

　　There was a man, called Paddywhack, who worked in a very prestigious bank. One day a frog came in asking for a car loan. So he gave the frog the loan application papers. As the frog was filling them out, Paddywhack was looking over his shoulder. In the space for 'Father' the frog wrote in 'Mick Jagger'. Paddywhack said nothing. Then he asked the frog if he had enough money for a deposit. The frog said he didn't but produced a strange looking colourful glass sculpture that he said was worth a whole heap of money. Paddywhack said he'd have to talk to his boss about this, so he took the forms and the glass sculpture into his boss' office. He told his boss about the papers and asked him if he knew what the sculpture was. To which his boss replied,

　　"It's a nic nac Paddywhack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"