關於大學生英語小笑話短文

　　笑話可以讓人們在刻板的學習和工作生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，是人們生活不可缺少的“好夥伴”。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　What you want is a television set

　　Bertha was a very pretty girl. Quite a lot of young men wanted to marry her, but she was notsatisfied with any of them.

　　One day, a young man asked her to become his wife. She answered, "No, John, I won't marryyou. I want to marry a man who is famous, who can play music, who can tell interesting stories,who does not smoke or drink , who stays at home in the evenings and who stops talking whenI'm tired of listening." The young man got up, took his coat and went to the door, but beforehe left the house, he turned and said to Bertha, "It isn't a man you're looking for. It's atelevision set."

　　你要的是臺電視機

　　伯莎是個非常漂亮的姑娘。許多年輕男子都想要娶她，但他對它們卻都不滿意。

　　有一天，一個年輕人請求她做他的妻子。她回答說：“不行，約翰，我不想嫁給你，我要嫁給一個有名的人。他會彈奏樂曲，會講有趣的故事。他不抽菸也不喝酒，每天晚上都呆在家裡，當我不想聽時他就停止說話。”

　　年輕人站起身，拿起他的外衣朝門走去，在離開房間以前，他轉身對伯莎說：“你要的不是一個男人，而是一臺電視機。”

　　篇2

　　Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother tookthem to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

　　The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into thekitchen. She gave him a nice

　　cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick.

　　Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like agentleman."

　　"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"

　　"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

　　"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds.

　　Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".

　　紳士

　　迪克年齡七歲，他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。一天，媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩，自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。

　　孩子們玩了個把小時，在四點半的時候，姨媽領著迪克走進了廚房。她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，並對他說：“喏，迪克，給你刀子，把這塊蛋糕一切為二，給你妹妹一塊。不過，你得記住要做得像一個紳士那樣。”

　　迪克問：“像一個紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”

　　他姨媽馬上回答說：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的。”

　　迪克說了一聲“噢”。他對此想了一會，然後，他把蛋糕拿給妹妹，並對她說：“凱瑟琳，你來把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧。”

　　篇3

　　A teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she, "has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"

　　"Teacher,"said a small boy,"I made someone glad yesterday."

　　"Well done. Who was that?"

　　"My granny."

　　"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

　　" I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny,I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"

　　我很高興

　　一個老師在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。“現在，孩子們，”她說：“你們當中有誰讓別人高興過?”

　　“我，老師，”一個小男孩說：“昨天我就使別人高興過。”

　　“做得好，是誰呢?”

　　“我奶奶。”

　　“好孩子。現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。”

　　“是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她說：‘啊，我很高興!’”