超短簡單英語小笑話精選

　　笑話能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面,而且可以在說笑中蘊含著人們對於美好生活的期盼和訴求。下面是小編帶來的超短簡單英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　The Big Baby

　　"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband . " I'm not feeling well."

　　"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. " her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look after our baby. "

　　"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better. " his wife told him.

　　"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.

　　She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things to buy. "

　　She wrote out the list and gave it to him.

　　"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.

　　"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."

　　The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then he pushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were on his list.

　　At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.

　　Then he started to scream.

　　And scream!

　　And SCREAM!

　　"Keep calm ,George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't lose your temper, George.

　　A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.

　　"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George. "

　　"Madam, " the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.

　　Notes:

　　1 shopping cart 購物手推車 3 lose one's temper發脾氣

　　2 scream v.尖聲叫喊 4 be patient with有耐性

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文選擇正確答案：

　　① Why did the man take care of the baby?

　　A. it was his turn.

　　B. His wife was not well.

　　C. His wife was not at home.

　　D. He always looked after it.

　　② Why did the man take the baby to the supermarket?

　　A. He had to go shopping.

　　B. He wanted to show the baby to his friend.

　　C. He wanted to give the baby a ride in a shopping cart.

　　D. The baby liked going to the supermarket.

　　③ What did the baby do in the supermarket?

　　A. pushed the shopping cart

　　B. lost its temper

　　C. made a lot of noise

　　D. helped his father

　　④ Who was the man telling to keep calm?

　　A. the baby

　　B. Edward

　　C. the woman

　　D. himself

　　⑤ Finally we can infer from the story that_____ .

　　A. the man was very calm when the baby was crying

　　B. the woman was very pleased to see the man

　　C. the woman mistook George for the baby, while in fact the man was named George

　　D. the man was very busy in shopping, but he couldn't find all the goods on the list

　　37.大嬰兒

　　“今天你得照看孩子，”女人對丈夫說，“我身體不舒服。”

　　“親愛的，那你呆在床上休息，”丈夫說，“我很高興照顧我們的孩子。”

　　“謝謝。今天我將清靜一下了，我很快就會好點的。”

　　“我為你去買東西，好嗎?”

　　她很高興地說：“這幫我很大忙呢。我給你列個要買的東西的單子。”

　　她列好單子，遞給他。

　　“在超級市場你能買到這些東西，”她說。

　　“你把孩子放在購物手推車裡，就不用把孩子留在外面了。”

　　男人帶著孩子到超市，把他放在推車裡。然後推著車子沿著貨架走，尋找單子列出的東西。

　　開始一切都進行得很順利，接著孩子開始哭起來。

　　然後孩子開始尖聲喊叫。

　　尖叫。

　　又尖叫。

　　“保持鎮靜，喬治，”男人說，“不要衝動。不要喊叫，喬治。不要發脾氣，喬治。”

　　一個女人在超市聽到他說的這些話。她走到他跟前。

　　“我覺得你真不錯，“她說，”你對你的小喬治真有耐心。”

　　“夫人，”男人說，“我是喬治，他是愛德華。”

　　練習參考答案：

　　①B②A③C④D⑤C

　　超短簡單英語小笑話閱讀

　　Pears and Plume

　　I bought some pears at my local supermarket. At the checkout counter the cashier commented, "Oh, dear, I've charged you for plums instead of pears."

　　"What's the difference?" I asked.

　　"Well," she said, "plums are smaller and round."

　　Notes:

　　1 pear n.梨

　　2 supermarket n.超級市場

　　3 checkout n.付賬出口處

　　4 cashier n.出納員

　　5 comment v.說話;發表意見

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文選擇正確答案：

　　① Where was the customer?

　　A. The customer was at home.

　　B. The customer was in a small fruit shop.

　　C. The customer was at a local supermarket.

　　D. The customer was at the railway station.

　　② What did the customer buy?

　　A. some plums

　　B. some pears

　　C. some apples

　　D. The author bought nothing.

　　③ What does " comment " in the sentence“ At the checkout counter the cashier commented" mean?

　　A .to say

　　B. to argue

　　C. to disagree

　　D. to permit

　　④ What did the customer mean by saying "What's the difference?

　　A .the difference between the two prices

　　B. the difference between the appearances of pears and plums

　　C. the difference between the colors of the two kinds of fruits

　　D. the difference between the tastes of the two kinds of fruits

　　⑤ From the passage we can infer that_____ .

　　A. probably there is no price difference between the two kinds of fruits

　　B. there is a price difference between the two kinds of fruits

　　C. the cashier didn't know the price of pears

　　D. the customer was overcharged

　　38.梨子與李子

　　我在市超級市場買了些梨子。在付款臺，出納員說：“噢，天哪，你這是梨子，我按李子收錢了。”

　　“有什麼區別嗎?”我問，

　　“哦，”她說，“李子小一點兒但很圓。”

　　練習參考答案：

　　①C②B③A④A⑤A

　　超短簡單英語小笑話學習

　　She Is Left-handed

　　A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. "Honey," the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"

　　"I suppose so-it's paid for."

　　"How about our car?" continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that?"

　　"I suppose so-it's paid for.

　　"What about golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"

　　"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She's left-handed.

　　Notes:

　　1 avid adj.熱望的

　　2 golfer n.打高爾夫球者

　　3 It's paid for理所當然

　　4 heck俚語地獄用於感嘆句中

　　5 blurt out脫口而出

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文回答下列問題：

　　① What were the married couple both keen on?

　　② What were they doing one night?

　　③ What would the man do if the woman were to die?

　　④ What would the man do with their house and car?

　　⑤ What does the last sentence of the passage imply?

　　39.她是左撇子

　　一對已婚夫婦都熱心於打高爾夫球。一天夜裡，他們在談論將來。“親愛的，”妻子說，“如果我死了，而你再婚，你們兩個會住在這個房子裡嗎?”

　　“我想是的----這是理所當然的。”

　　“那我們的汽車呢?”婦人繼續問道，“你們兩個會留著這輛車嗎?”

　　“我想是的----這是理所當然的。”

　　“那我們的球棒呢?你也會讓她用嗎?”

　　“見鬼，不，”丈夫脫口而出，“她是左撇子。”

　　練習參考答案：

　　① They were both keen on playing golf

　　② They were discussing their future.

　　③ He would remarry.

　　④ He would let his new wife live in the house and use the car .

　　⑤ The husband had a mistress already.