八年級的英語笑話精選

　　搞笑以一種幽默和嘲笑的方式使人們明白事物的本質,事物的發展軌跡和過程,人生的哲理、做人的道理和做人的道德規範。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　精選

　　Ways end Means

　　A man handed a pair of slacks to the department-store clerk. "I'd like these altered, please," he said. The clerk asked for the sales receipt, but after searching his pockets, the man replied he had lost it. The clerk informed him that it was store policy to do free alterations without a receipt.

　　"Okay, then, " the man said, "I'd I like to return the slacks. clerk processed the return and gave him cash equaling the cost of the slacks.

　　The man pushed the money back across the counter. "Now I want to buy the slacks, " he said. The clerk rang up the sale, bagged the slacks and handed them to him with a receipt.

　　Triumphantly, he put the slacks and the receipt on the counter. "I'd like to have these altered, please."

　　Notes:

　　1 slacks n.寬鬆的褲子

　　2 receipt n.收據

　　3 process v.處理以儲存

　　4 ring up用收銀機收錢

　　5 bag v.打包;裝入袋中

　　6 triumphantly adv.獲勝地;得意洋洋地

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文判斷下列句子正T、誤F：

　　① The man wanted to alter the shoes he bought .

　　② The clerk asked the man for the sales receipt .

　　③ It was the store's policy that free alterations without a receipt allowed but a return without a receipt was alright.

　　④ The clerk was angry with what the man required.

　　⑤ The man got his slacks altered.

　　40.花招

　　一位男子把一條寬鬆褲遞給百貨商店職員。“我想換一條。”他說。店員向他要售貨收據。這位男子翻遍了他的口袋，最後只得說收據丟了。店員告訴他說沒有收據不準隨意更換，這是商店的規章。

　　“那好吧，”這位男子說，“我要把這條褲子退掉。”店員按程式辦理了退貨手續並把等於褲子價格的現金給了他。

　　這位男子把錢從櫃檯上推回去。“現在我還要這條褲子，”他說。店員用收銀機收下了錢，把那條褲子裝進包裡，並把它們連同收據遞給了他。

　　這男子終於以勝利者的姿態把褲子和收據放在櫃檯上，說：“我要把這條褲子換了。”

　　練習參考答案：

　　①F②T③T④F⑤T

　　閱讀

　　You Let Me Search Quite

　　Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.

　　After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child?"

　　One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"

　　Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son on the face, then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go just now?"

　　Notes:

　　1 think of想起

　　2 hearing this聽到這話。這是個分詞短語，相當於一個表示時間的狀語從句，即：When he heard this.

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文填空：

　　① Once ______ a time, there was a man who always forgot things.

　　② He was so happy that he put the son ______ his neck.

　　③ After _______ time, he suddenly thought of his son.

　　④ _______ this, the man took down his son from his neck.

　　⑤ He was so angry that he hit the son _______ the face .

　　41.叫我好找

　　古時，有個人記性極差。一天，他帶著小兒子出去玩。一高興，便把小兒子舉起來，讓他騎在自己的脖子上。

　　過了一會兒，他忽然想起兒子來，逢人便問：“你看到我孩子了嗎?”

　　“哎，你脖子上的那個不是嗎?”有個鄰居見了大笑。

　　這個人一把將小兒子從脖子上揪下來，狠狠地打了一耳光，罵道：“混蛋，叫你別亂跑，剛才你到哪裡去了?”

　　練習參考答案：

　　① upon ② ride ③ a ④ hearing ⑤ on

　　學習

　　The Long and Short of It

　　Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together .

　　"Grandma, " I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"

　　She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."

　　Notes:

　　1 stately adj.高貴的

　　2 leaf through迅速翻閱;瀏覽

　　3 teen-ager.十幾歲的人

　　4 fall in love with愛上;墜入愛河

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文選擇正確答案：

　　① The child had never met______ .

　　A. the grandfather

　　B. the grandmother

　　C. the father

　　D. the mother

　　② The grandmother was _______taller than the grandfather.

　　A. five feet

　　B. six inches

　　C. four inches

　　D. five inches

　　③ "Leafing through" in "leafing through old photographs" means______ .

　　A. to turn page by page

　　B. to put leaves in an album

　　C. to took for

　　D. to take out from

　　④ The child realized________ .

　　A. how strange they must have looked together

　　B. how wonderful they must have looked together

　　C. how shameful they must have looked together

　　D. how unusual they must have looked together

　　⑤ From the passage we can see that______ .

　　A. the grandmother loved her husband deeply

　　B. the grandmother regretted to have married her husband

　　C. the grandfather had been out for at least ten years

　　D. the grandfather had been dead for nearly eight years

　　42.來龍去脈

　　儘管我從未見過我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高貴的祖母身高五英尺十一。十幾歲的時候，我和祖母一起一頁一頁地翻著老照片，我終於認識到他們在一起是多麼不同尋常。

　　“奶奶，”我問道，“你怎麼會愛上一個比你矮五英寸的人呢?”

　　她轉過臉來看著我。“寶貝，”她說，“我們是坐著相愛的。當我站起來的時候，已經太晚了。”

　　練習參考答案：

　　①A②D③A④A⑤A