高考英語滿分作文名師點評

General 更新 2024年11月26日

  看名師點評,為什麼別的考生在高考英語寫作考試可以獲得滿分。下面是小編給大家整理的,供大家參閱!

  全國

  【試題回放】

  假定你是李華,從小喜愛大熊貓***panda***,一直通過有關網站***website***關注三年前在美國聖迭哥動物園出生的大熊貓“蘇琳”和她的母親“白雲”。現在蘇琳即將三歲。請根據以下要點給動物園工作人員寫一封信:

  1、 自我介紹;2、 祝賀蘇琳生日;3、 感謝工作人員;4、 索取蘇琳三歲生日照。

  注意:

  1、詞數100左右;2、可以適當增加細節,以使行文連貫;3、開頭語已為你寫好。

  例文:

  Dear Sir/Madam,

  Greetings from China!

  I’m Li Hua, a student in Sichuan. I’ve been a panda lover since I was a child. About three years ago I was delighted to learn that Baiyun gave birth to her daughter Sulin and I’ve been watching her grow on your website,. Now she’s going to be three. I’d like to wish her a happy birthday and to express my thanks to you for your hard work, because of which Sulin and her parents are living a happy and healthy life in the US.

  By the way, could I have a photo of Sulin taken on her third birthday? Thank you very much in advance.

  Yours truly,

  Li Hua

  【名師點評】

  本文寫作的內容要點如下:1.自我介紹;2.資訊來源;3.祝賀生日;4.感謝照顧;5.索取照片;6.合適的結尾。

  這封信格式正確,行文規範,描述有條不紊,稱呼、正文中的開頭及結尾、結束語均表達到位。文章行文活潑,感情真摯,語言表述準確,洋溢著作者因大熊貓得到精心照顧而對美方人員的感激之情,以及希望自己願望成真,得到照片的希冀之情。長短句運用合理,結合了簡單句和複合句,流暢自然,不露痕跡,的確是一篇佳作。

  積累卡片英漢互譯

  好詞

  1.delighted adj.欣喜的,快樂的 2.express v.表達 3.give birth to v.產生,生育

  好句

  I’d like to wish her a happy birthday and to express my thanks to you for your hard work, because of which Sulin and her parents are living a happy and healthy life in the US.

  我祝福它生日快樂並且對你們的辛勤工作表達我的感激之情,正是你們的努力工作讓蘇琳和它的父母在美國過著幸福和健康的生活。

  評析:定語從句的使用。

  

  【試題回放】

  實現有效的溝通,建立良好的人際關係,不僅要善於言表,更要學會傾聽。請你根據下表中所提供的資訊,寫一篇題為 “Being a Good Listener” 的英文演講稿。

  注意:

  1、對所給要點,逐一陳述,適當發揮,不要簡單翻譯。

  2、詞數150左右。開頭和結尾已經寫好,不計入總詞數。

  3、演講稿中不得提及考生所在學校及本人姓名。

  Good afternoon, everyone.

  The topic of my speech today is “Being a Good Listener”.

  Good listening can always show respect, promote understanding, and improve interpersonal relationship.

  Many people suggest that parents should listen more to their children, so they will understand them better, and find it easy to narrow the generation gap; teachers should listen more to their students, then they can meet their needs better, and place themselves in a good relationship with their students; students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.

  What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others. Show your respect and never stop others till they finish their talk; show you are interested by a supportive silence or a knowing smile; be open-minded to different opinions even though you don’t like them. In a word, good listening can really enable us to get closer to each other.

  Thank you for your listening!

  【名師點評】

  這是一篇感情真摯、熱情洋溢的演講稿,文中大量運用排比句型,不但準確流暢地表達出題目中所提供的資訊,而且體現出作者熟練運用英語的能力以及不俗的文采。第三段中所使用的相同結構的複合句式,將傾聽的物件及其作用闡述得淋漓盡致;而第四段中用一系列的祈使句議論應如何傾聽,則更進一步地增強了這篇演說稿的說服力。

  2

  作文題目

  假設你是李華,你的英國筆友Bob將於九月到你所在城市的建新華文學校學中文,來信請你在學校附近為他找一套住房。請根據圖畫提供的資訊,寫信介紹住房的情況,並告知住房面積為25平方米,月租500元。

  注意:

  1.詞數:100左右:

  2.參考詞彙:房租—Tent***n.***.

  I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.

  Hope you will come here soon!

  All the best!

  Yours, Li Hua

  滿分理由

  本文格式正確,意思表述完整,行文流暢自然。作者在寫作過程中注意長短句並用,還使用了以'which,’引導的非限定性定語從句,從而使文章層次分明,富於變化,不愧為考場佳作。

  Dear Bob,

  Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.

  I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.

  Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’U be able to meet you at the airport, see you.

  Best wishes !

  Yours, Li Hua

  滿分理由

  本文格式正確,內容完整,表述清楚,銜接緊密流暢,時態語態使用準確,特別是結尾末段適度的發揮,既充實了內容,又符合邏輯,成為本文與眾不同的亮點。

  Dear Bob,

  How are you these days?

  I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese. You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which I think is pretty good. The place is on Fang Cao Street which is near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin Chinese School.

  There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.

  Yours,

  Li Hua

  滿分理由

  本文內在邏輯性很強,由遠及近。由外及內,層次分明,錯落有致。同時讓步狀語從句運用得恰到好處,很出彩,再則結構完整,從開頭的問候語到結尾都很完備。

  Dear Bob,

  I’m so glad that you are coming to learn Chinese here. I’ve already found you a house near our school. I’d like to tell you something about it.

  You may get on No.ll bus at Fang Cao Street and the next stop is just Jian Xin Chinese School. The house is near the school. It is about 25 square metres. In the bedroom, there is a bed, a sofa standing against the wall and a table near the window. You may find a light on the table and a chair next to it. There are two other rooms connecting the bedroom. The left one is a bathroom and the right one is a kitchen. So you may cook by yourself. The rent for the house is 500 yuan per month. Hope you’ll enjoy staying here!

  Yours,

  Li Hua

  滿分理由

  本文內容具體,詳略得當,表述方式很有創造力和新意,長短句並用,語言結構富於變化,錯落有致,順暢圓潤,尤其是情態動詞和分詞的運用很獨到,為文章增色不少。

  Dear Bob,

  I’m glad to hear from you.

  Welcome to our city in september. I’ve found a suitable house for you. The house is on Fang Cao Street, not far from the Jianxin Chinese School. If you take the No.11 bus, it is just one stop.

  It is a flat on the third floor of a building. It has three rooms, a living-room, a bathroom and a kitchen. You can cook yourself. The mirror, the basin and the bathtub are very convenient for you. In the living-room, there is a bed, a sofa and a desk with chair. The desk is next to the window. It will be good for study. The total size is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan a month.

  Yours,

  Li Hua

  

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