英式幽默笑話英文版閱讀

　　笑話是幽默的語言表達。它是一種常見的幽默傳達方式。笑話是口頭或者書面的幽默語言。下面是小編帶來的英式幽默笑話閱讀，歡迎閱讀!

　　英式幽默笑話閱讀篇一

　　我為媽媽煮了一杯茶***雙語閱讀***

　　Have you notlced that children sometimes tyr to be helpful,but lt makes vour life more complicated? This story is about a sick mother whose darUng daughter want to be a good nurse.

　　不知道你注意到沒有，孩子們有時想幫你的忙，但卻讓你的生活更加複雜。下面是一位患病的母親，她可愛的女兒想好好照顧她的故事。

　　A:Mummy,let me fluff the pillow fo you

　　媽媽，讓我把枕頭給你抖鬆。

　　B:OK.

　　好吧。

　　A:Mummy,here is a magazine you can read it.

　　媽媽，這是本雜誌，你可以看看它。

　　B:OK.Thank you!

　　好吧。謝謝你。

　　A:Mumrny,I make a cup of tea for you,here vou are.

　　媽媽，我為你煮了一杯茶，給你。

　　B:***Drinking*** Why.vou are auch sweetheafi,I didn't know you could make tea.

　　***喝茶***真是好女兒，我不知道休還會煮茶。

　　A:Oh.yes.I put the tea leaves in the water like you do,and I boiled it.and then I strained it into a cup.But I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the flyswatter.

　　哦，是的，我像你那樣把茶葉放在水中，煮開，然後我把它過濾到水杯裡。但是我找不到過濾器，我就用了蒼蠅拍。

　　B:You what?

　　你用了什麼?

　　A:Oh,don'l worry,Mummy.I didn't use the new flyswatter.I used the old one.

　　哦，別擔心，媽媽。我沒用新的蒼蠅拍，我用的是舊的。

　　英式幽默笑話閱讀篇二

　　迷情酒吧***雙語閱讀***

　　In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. One day, Mr.Tomposon and his son who had his eigh-teenth birthday go to a public bar.

　　英格蘭，不滿18歲是不允許到酒館喝酒的，一天湯普森在他兒子18歲生日那天，帶著他去了酒館。

　　A:You are so strict that you never took me here before, Daddy.

　　爸爸，你太嚴格了，以前你從不帶我來這裡。

　　B:Because you were not old enough.

　　因為你還不夠大。

　　A:I see.

　　我知道。

　　***After half an hour.半小時以後。***

　　B:Now, Tom,1 want to teach you a useful lesson. You must alway s be careful not to drink too much.

　　湯姆，現在我給你上一課。你必須注意永遠不要喝得過多。

　　A:Can I know when I have had enough?

　　我怎麼才能知道我喝夠了呢?

　　B:Well,I'll tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end o fthe bar?When they seem to have become four, you've had enough and should go home.

　　聽著，你看見酒館那頭的兩盞燈了嗎?當那兒的燈變成四盞的時候，你就喝夠了，該回家了。

　　A:But Dad,I can only see one light at the end of the bar.

　　可是，爸爸，我只看見那兒有一盞燈呀。

　　英式幽默笑話閱讀篇三

　　霓裳炫影***雙語閱讀***

　　When a village fool blossomed out all of a sudden in new clothes,the neighbors wondered at his property.

　　村子裡的白痴突然發了大財，穿上了新衣服，鄰居們對他的暴富感到很驚奇。

　　A:What's happened to you?

　　你做了什麼事?

　　B:1 won the first prize in the lottery.

　　我中了頭彩。

　　A:How did you come to guess the luck number?

　　你是怎麼猜中幸運號碼的?

　　B:Well, three times running I dreamed of seven; so I figured it out that three times seven are twenty-four, and I bought ticket number 24 I won the first prize.

　　哦，我做夢夢見了7這個號碼三次。於是我算出7的3倍是24.於是我買了號碼是24的彩票。這張票中了頭彩。

　　A:NVhy, you blamed fool, three times seven is twenty-one, not twenty-four.

　　哎呀，你這個該死的傻瓜，7的3倍是21不是24。

　　B:Is that so? Well, twenty-four won, anyway.

　　是這樣嗎?哦，不管怎麼說，24中了。

　　英式幽默笑話閱讀篇四

　　窈窕塑身***雙語閱讀***

　　A healthy mind is in a healthy body.

　　健全的精神寓於健康的體魄。

　　A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the op-erating table, she had a near-death experience.She saw God.

　　一個叫雪莉的婦女來自貝弗利山。一天，她心臟病發作，被送進了塞達斯辛耐醫院。在手術檯上，她經歷了生死的瞬間。她見到了上帝。

　　A:Is this it?

　　我就這樣完了嗎?

　　B:No,you have another 30 to 40 years to live.

　　不，你還能活三四十年。

　　*** Upon her recovery ,she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants,a face Iift, liposuction and breast augmentation.She even had someone dye. her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Ce-dars Sinai lobby after the alst operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

　　心臟病好了之後，她決定待在醫院裡，作膠原蛋白注射、面頰移植、臉部隆型、吸脂術以及隆胸等一系列美容整容手術。她還請人燙染了頭髮。她想既然自己還有三四十年的活頭，就應該好好活出個滋味兒來。她做完最後一個手術後，剛走出塞達斯辛耐醫院，就被一輛迎頭疾馳而來的救護車撞死了。***

　　A:I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?

　　我原以為你說過我還能活三四十年?

　　B:Shirley!I didn't recognize you!

　　雪莉!我沒認出是你!