初中英語冷笑話短文閱讀

　　笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。小編精心收集了初中英語冷笑話短文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　初中英語冷笑話短文：用臉去敲鐘

　　Quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of Notre Dame cathedral.But the first man who applied for the job was not only a hunchback, but armless as well.

　　鐘樓怪人剛去世，因此教區的神父正在找一位駝背的人來敲巴黎聖母院的大鐘。但是第一個去應徵的不僅是駝背，而且連手也沒有。

　　'Of course, I'd like to give you the job," said the priest,"but how will you manage it?" "Never fear," replied the dauntless paraplegic. "Just watch;! "

　　“當然，我願意給你這個工作機會，”神父說道，“可是你怎麼去敲鐘呢?”“別怕，”勇敢的殘疾者答道。“待會你就知道。”

　　The two men went up to the bell tower and there the applicant took a run at the great bell, striking it with his face.The effect was magnificent, and the hunchback repeated his performance several times. However, he soon became dizzy and at the next run, missed the bell completely and went hurtling out of the bell tower to crash to his death in the courtyard below.

　　兩個人走上鐘樓，應徵者用臉撞那個大鐘，響了好一陣子，效果良好。駝子又撞了幾次。可是不久他就覺得頭暈目眩，下一次竟然落了空，掉到鐘塔外，跌死在下面的庭院裡。

　　The priest rushed down to the crumpled body, over which a policeman was already standing. "Do you know this fellow's name?" asked the cop. "No, but his face certainly rings a bell!"

　　神父衝到跌得皺成一團的屍體之處，有個警察已經站在那裡。"你知道這個傢伙的名字嗎"察問道。“不知道，但他的臉孔好熟喔!”

　　初中英語冷笑話短文：停下來

　　On a rainy, miserable day, the funeral procession was climbing the steep hill to the cemetery, when suddenly the rear doors of the hearse broke open and the coffin slid out.

　　一個陰雨、悲慘的日子，有列送葬隊伍正沿著陡峭的山路向墓地前進，這時突然間靈車的後門破開，棺材滑出車外。

　　To the horror of the mourners, the casket hurtled down the hill, scattering motorists and pedestrians. At tremendous speed it leaped onto the sidewalk and barreled into a drugstore. It crashed into the counter and the lid flew open

　　令哀悼者大感驚恐的是，棺材滑下山坡，衝散了汽車和行人，接著它以高速衝上人行道並滾進一家藥房，最後棺材撞到了櫃檯裡面，蓋子則崩開了。

　　"For Heaven's sake," said the corpse to the astonished pharmacist, "give me something to stop this coffin. "

　　“看在老天的分上，”棺木中的屍體向驚魂未定的藥劑師說道:“給我一點東西把棺材停止下來。”

　　初中英語冷笑話短文：我沒有服藥

　　A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.

　　有位理解能力相當遲緩的老兄一直為便祕所苦，因此醫生給他一些利腸的栓劑。

　　A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.

　　一星期後病人回來告訴醫生，他的狀況尚未改進。

　　"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"

　　“我覺得好奇怪，”醫生說。“你有沒有采用我開給你的藥方呢?”

　　"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

　　“你以為我做什麼呢?難道要我把它們都塞進屁股裡嗎?”

　　"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

　　“你以為我做什麼呢?難道要我把它們都塞進屁股裡嗎?”