最短幽默英語笑話大全

　　笑話通過突出一點、大膽誇張,淋漓盡致地揭示諷刺物件的可笑本質。千百年來,人民群眾將它作為抨擊敵人的一種手段和進行自我教育的工具。下面是小編帶來的最短幽默英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　最短幽默英語笑話篇一

　　本性難移 Tightfisted Till the End

　　When a very miserly***吝嗇的*** man nicknamed the "stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached***責斥*** him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma***因果報應*** , you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil."

　　The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!"

　　有一個人很吝嗇，叫吝嗇鬼，他死了以後下地獄，閻羅王罵他說：“你這個吝嗇鬼，在塵間的時候什麼東西都抓很緊不放，什麼人都不給，看到貧窮、痛苦的人也不幫助，父母、親戚、朋友也沒有照顧好，讓他們都捱餓受苦，你這種凶惡的業障，應該被放入***的油鍋裡面。”

　　鬼差就帶他到滾得很熱、很燙的油鍋那邊，吝嗇鬼一看就說：“喔，等一下、慢一下!油那麼多，怎麼那麼浪費呢?你們先把這些油倒出來，賣出去後把錢給我，然後丟我在熱燙的水裡就可以了!何必用油，而且還用那麼多油!”

　　最短幽默英語笑話篇二

　　"Ten steps from the porch***門廊*** and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

　　So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

　　He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

　　He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

　　But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped***緊抱，扣緊*** her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron***杜鵑*** bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."

　　最短幽默英語笑話篇三

　　I Taught the Teacher 我教老師

　　Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

　　Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

　　母親問她年幼的兒子：寶貝，今天老師教了你些什麼?

　　兒子驕傲地說：什麼都沒教，媽媽。她反倒問我一加二等於幾，我告訴她等於三。

　　最短幽默英語笑話篇四

　　Where's the father? 父親在哪?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”