有關簡單的英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編精心收集了有關簡單的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：Amazing Pig

　　A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says "Sure, we can put you up."

　　The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.

　　Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks "Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig's neck?"

　　The farmer says "Sure. It's really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son's life. So, we gave him the medal."

　　The vagrant is amazed and says "Well, how about that silver medal?"

　　The farmer says "A few months ago our house caught fire in the middle of the night while we were all sleeping. This pig saw the flames, busted out of his pen and ran into the house, waking us up in time. To show our gratitude we gave him that silver medal."

　　The homeless man says "While I'm at it, I might as well ask you about the gold medal."

　　The farmer says "My wife was attacked by a burglar several weeks ago. This pig heard her cries, busted out of his pen, and chased that man far away. To show my thanks I gave him that gold medal"

　　The homeless man sits in awe of the pig, who is blithely eating his meal with a knife and fork. He asks "What about the wooden leg?"

　　The farmer says, matter-of-factly, "Well, you don't eat a pig like THAT all at once!"

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：The Parrot

　　A young newly married couple inherited a parrot from an aged relative. This parrot was very talkative, and was forever informing visitors as to what went on in the newlyweds' home. One evening, after a very embarrassing comment from the bird, the husband had enough and said to the parrot, "That's it! You will be covered up much earlier in the future, and if you take your cage cover off or embarrass us again, you will be sent to the zoo."

　　Two days later, the couple was preparing for a short trip, and as usual, the suitcase was too full to close. So the husband said, "I'll get on top and jump up and down and you see if you can get it."

　　After a bit, the wife said, "This is no good. I'll get on top and you see if you can get it."

　　This still did not work, and so the husband said, "Tell you what, let's both get on top and bounce up and down. That'll get it."

　　With this, the parrot pulled off the cage cover and said, "Zoo or no zoo, this I have got to see."

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：Panda

　　A panda walks into a pub and sits down for a drink. While he's downing his pint, he looks across and sees a beautiful woman at the end of the bar, so he pulls up a stool next to her. They talk for awhile and hit it off.

　　Then the panda says," God, I could go for a bite to eat," and the woman says she will buy him a meal. Back at her place after the fulfilling meal, one thing leads to another, and the panda ends up having sex with the woman.

　　In the morning as the panda is about to leave, the woman says to him, "Hey wait a sec, I'm a prostitute." Seeing the baffled expression on the Panda's face she tells him to look it up in the dictionary.

　　So the Panda looks up "prostitute," and the definition says, "Takes money for sex."

　　After reading this, the panda relaxes and says, "That's all right because I'm a panda."

　　The woman, confused, looks up "panda" in the dictionary and reads the definition: "Eats shoots and leaves."

　　有關簡單的英語笑話：Hunting Bears

　　A Pole and a Chezck go bear hunting. When they don't come back their friend go looking for them.

　　They find two tracks leading into the wood and follow them to a clearing. There are two guns on the ground and blood all over and they realize that the bears must have eaten their friends.

　　There is a loud crashing noise and a much roaring and the two bears ***a male and a female*** rush them. Blasting away with the guns the friends kill the female while the male gets away.

　　They find on cutting open the female the remains of their Polish friend. This can only mean one thing...

　　The Chezck is in the male