趣味經典英語笑話三則

　　下面是小編整理的趣味英語笑話三則，希望大家喜歡!

　　趣味英語笑話：愛護動物

　　The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with threeiguanas, but when the man ordered fourhamburgers with fries, the owner complied with a shrug.

　　有個人牽了三隻大蜥蜴走進一家漢堡店，老闆嚇了一跳。接著他點了四份漢堡和薯條，老闆聳聳肩答應了他的要求.

　　The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.

　　那個老兄和他的蜥蜴享受過晚餐後便離開了。

　　The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.

　　第二天，那個人帶了兩隻袋鼠，又點了相同的東西。

　　On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the owner couldn't help making a remark.

　　第三天，他帶了兩隻紅毛猩猩和一隻黑猩猩。

　　"You certainly seem to be an animal lover," he said.

　　老闆實在忍不住，便說：“您實在是個愛護動物的有心人。”

　　"That's true," said the man, "and I'd like you to know how much we appreciate your letting us eat here. Some proprietors object. "

　　“那倒是真的，”那位仁兄回答說道.‘‘另外我也要感謝你讓我們進來吃晚餐，許多店老闆都拒絕賣東西給我們。”

　　"That's quite alright," said the shopkeeper.

　　“沒有問題啦!”店老闆說。

　　"As a token of my appreciation, I’d like to give you this lobster. " And the animal lover handed over a live, wriggling crustacean

　　“為了向你表示謝意，我送你一隻龍蝦。”說著他便給老闆一隻活蹦亂跳的大龍蝦。

　　"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner. "

　　“您真好，我太太和我將以它當晚餐。”

　　"Oh, he-s already had dinner. But I am sure he-d love totake in a movie. "

　　“喔，它已經吃過晚餐了，但我想它會喜歡看場電影。”

　　趣味英語笑話：凡事總有例外

　　A musician had taken to heart the old saying, "Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast," and traveled to the darkest corner of Africa in an effort to prove it.

　　一位音樂家牢記一句格言在心： “音樂有安撫野獸心靈的魅力。”為了證實這句話，他前往非洲最深處的內陸叢林旅遊。

　　No sooner had he begun to play his violin in a jungle clearing than it was full of savage beasts, swaying in rhythm and tapping their paws to thedelightful sounds.

　　在叢林的一塊空地上，他一拉起小提琴，四處就擠滿了各種猛獸，跟著旋律，拍著腳掌，手舞足蹈起來。

　　Suddenly, however, a huge lion emerged from the jungle,pounced on the violinist and made a hearty meal of him.

　　可是叢林裡突然跑出一頭大獅子，撲向小提琴家，把他當作盛餐吃掉了。

　　The other animals cried out in dismay, 'Hey! We were enjoying that. "

　　其他野獸大失所望，說道：“我們正在欣賞音樂哩!”

　　"Eh?" said the lion, cupping its hand to its ear.

　　“呃?，’獅子彎曲手掌成杯子狀靠著耳朵說道。

　　趣味英語笑話：我懂了

　　Mr. Beans had always wanted to travel to the African jungle to hunt, and, to his mind, the greatest prey was beyond doubt the mightygorilla. Unfortunately, the gorilla is an endangered species, and may no longer be killed for sport, but Mr. Beans had heard of oneprofessional hunter who had devised a way to capture the gorilla alive.

　　賓士先生總想到非洲打獵，在他看來，壯碩的大猩猩無疑是最佳的狩獵物件。不幸的是，大猩猩乃是一種瀕臨絕種的動物，不適合娛樂性質的狩獵活動，但賓士先生曾聽聞一位發明可以活捉大猩猩的職業獵人.

　　One fine day found Mr. Beans talking to the great white hunter, Mr. Bones, in his tent.

　　一天，賓士先生和偉大的白人獵物專家朋馳先生在帳篷中談話。

　　"Well, if you want to go on safari, my services will cost you $ 1,000 a.day, my man Mbulu $ 500 a day, $ 500 for the schnauzer and $ 500 for the pygmy with the gun," explained

　　Bones.

　　“如果你要去獵大猩猩的話，我本人服務一天索價一千美金;我手下恩布魯一天五百美金，德國獵犬一天五百美金;另外帶槍的矮黑人也一天五百，”朋馳解釋說道。

　　Beans did not quite understand these charges, but nonetheless agreed.

　　賓士先生並不很瞭解這些價目，可是他仍然答應了。

　　On their very first day on the hunt, Bones spotted a gorilla, which scampered up a tree. Mbulu, a mighty Zulu, pursued the ape and shook the branch on which it clung till the beast fell off. Immediately the schnauzer leapt forward, biting the befuddled ape on the most tender part of its anatomy. The gorilla fainted with shock, and was easily captured.

　　第一天出去打獵，朋馳看見一隻猩猩逃到一棵樹上，恩布魯是一位孔武有力的祖魯人，他追趕到樹上，猛力搖動那隻猩猩攀附的樹枝，待猩猩掉下之後，獵狗立刻跳上前去，咬住它身體最柔嫩的部分，猩猩驚嚇得昏了過去，很容易就被活捉了。

　　Mr. Beans was quite delighted, and even more so the next day, when the performance was repeated. But he still couldn ’t figure out the purpose of the pygmy with the gun, for whom he was paying $ 500 a day, and who seemed only to smile and pick his teeth.

　　賓士先生非常高興，尤其第二天又捕到另一隻猩猩，更讓他欣喜萬分，但他還是想不通他每天付五百美金請的帶槍的小黑人.

　　Finally, on the third day, Bones spotted the largest gorilla they'd ever encountered. As before, Mbulu pursued the primate into the tree. But this time, no amount of shaking would dislodge the beast. In fact, it turned on Mbulu,grappled with him, and sent him hurtling to the ground.

　　第三天時，朋馳看見他們所遇到的最大的一隻猩猩，如以往一樣，恩布魯把那隻靈長類動物追趕到樹上，可是這次怎麼也搖不下來。相反地，它轉向恩布魯，一陣扭打後，把他扔到地上去。

　　As the mighty Zulu fell, he shouted to the pygmy, "Shoo tthe dog! Shoot the dog!"

　　恩布魯跌下時，他對矮黑人叫道： “快射那隻獵狗!射那隻獵狗”