簡短英語幽默笑話精選

　　笑話在文體上即文學樣式上屬於小說,因為它和小說“血緣”關係最近。下面是小編帶來的簡短英語幽默笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　***一***

　　耶穌的電視機 Jesus’s Telly

　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.

　　聖誕節時孩子要了紙和蠟筆，想畫一張耶穌誕生像。最後這件藝術品被陳列出來供父母鑑賞。他們對耶穌誕生後睡的馬槽，牧羊人，耶穌及其家庭都逐一表示讚賞。

　　"But what’s that in the corner?" asked Mother.

　　“可是那個角落裡是什麼?”媽媽問。

　　"Oh, that’s their telly," replied the tot.

　　“噢，那是他們的電視機，”孩子回答說。

　　***二***

　　他的耳朵在我的衣兜裡 I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　van came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問,“發生了什麼事?”

　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

　　“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。

　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　“再見到他時你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。

　　"I’d know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　“他走到哪裡我都能認出他，”伊凡說，“他的耳朵還在我的衣兜裡呢。”

　　簡短英語幽默笑話閱讀

　　***一***

　　勒索聖誕樹 An Axe to Grind

　　A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.

　　一個孩子求他爸爸，說能不能今年為家裡準備一棵聖誕樹

　　Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't want to pay for it."

　　小男孩每年求他爸爸得到的都是同樣的回答“我可不想為一棵樹付錢。”

　　But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining, he picks up his axe one day andheads out of the house.

　　但是小男孩不放棄的一直祈求，終於有一天，他爸被他的哀求折磨得受不了，他拿起一把斧子，直接衝出了門。

　　Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down sofast?" his son asks.

　　30分鐘後，他爸爸帶著一棵超大的聖誕樹回到了加。他兒子問：“你怎麼會砍得那麼快?”

　　"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.

　　他爸爸回答到：“我不是砍的”

　　"I got it at a tree lot."

　　“我是從一個聖誕樹銷售中心拿的”

　　"Then why did you bring an axe?"

　　“那你為什麼還要帶把斧子去呢?”

　　"Because I didn't want to pay."

　　“因為我不想付錢”

　　***二***

　　快速清掃 Quick Cleanup

　　Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushedaround straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom.Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had beentidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank youfor not looking in the bathtub."

　　不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個完美的家庭主婦，正忙裡忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會兒之後，當她去檢查的時候，她吃驚了，曾經一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃乾淨了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝你沒往浴缸裡看。”

　　簡短英語幽默笑話學習

　　***一***

　　我一級也沒漏 I Caught Every Step

　　Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down thestairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.

　　布朗先生在看晚報，忽然傳來一陣什麼東西從樓上摔下來的響聲。他跳了起來，跑到廳裡，發現自己上了學的兒子四角朝天地躺在地上。

　　"Did you miss a step?" asked his dad.

　　“你是不是踩漏了一級臺階?”爸爸問。

　　"No, I caught every blessed one!" came the bitter answered.

　　“不，我每一級都撞上了，一級也沒有漏掉!”兒子痛苦地回答。

　　***二***

　　我希望如此 I Hope So

　　Neighbour: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college?

　　鄰居：您認為您的兒子會把在大學裡學的東西全忘光嗎?

　　Father: I hope so -- he certainly can’t make a living by kissing girls!

　　父親：我希望這樣-他當然不能以吻女孩子謀生吧!