生活幽默英語故事三則

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　生活幽默英語故事：窈窕塑身

　　A healthy mind is in a healthy body.

　　健全的精神寓於健康的體魄。

　　A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the op-erating table, she had a near-death experience.She saw God.

　　一個叫雪莉的婦女來自貝弗利山。一天，她心臟病發作，被送進了塞達斯辛耐醫院。在手術檯上，她經歷了生死的瞬間。她見到了上帝。

　　A:Is this it?

　　我就這樣完了嗎?

　　B:No,you have another 30 to 40 years to live.

　　不，你還能活三四十年。

　　*** Upon her recovery ,she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants,a face Iift, liposuction and breast augmentation.She even had someone dye. her hair. She figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She walked out of Ce-dars Sinai lobby after the alst operation and was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

　　心臟病好了之後，她決定待在醫院裡，作膠原蛋白注射、面頰移植、臉部隆型、吸脂術以及隆胸等一系列美容整容手術。她還請人燙染了頭髮。她想既然自己還有三四十年的活頭，就應該好好活出個滋味兒來。她做完最後一個手術後，剛走出塞達斯辛耐醫院，就被一輛迎頭疾馳而來的救護車撞死了。***

　　A:I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?

　　我原以為你說過我還能活三四十年?

　　B:Shirley!I didn't recognize you!

　　雪莉!我沒認出是你!

　　生活幽默英語故事：泡泡溫泉

　　A:Tom,look at your shoes.How dirty they are! You must clear hem.

　　湯姆，看看你的鞋子，多髒呀，你必須洗一洗了。

　　B:Oh.Mother,but I cleaned them only yesterday.

　　噢，媽媽，可我昨天才洗過的。

　　A:But they are dirty now.You must clean them again.

　　可現在它們又髒了，你再洗一次吧。

　　B:I don't want to clean them today. Even if I clean them today,they will be dirty again tomorrow.

　　我今天不想洗，我即使今天把鞋洗了，明天還會髒的。

　　A:OK,don't clean them then.

　　好吧，那就別洗了。

　　***ln the evening Tom came back from school.he was very hungry.

　　晚上湯姆放學回到家，他非常餓。***

　　B:Mother,give me something to eat, please.

　　媽媽，請給我拿些吃的吧?

　　A:You had your breakfast in the morning, Tom, and you had your lunch at school.

　　湯姆，你早晨吃了早飯，在學校吃了午飯。

　　B:But I am hungry now.

　　可我現在又餓了。

　　A:Oh,really? But even if Igive you something to eat today, you will be hungry again tomorrow.

　　噢，真的嗎?可是即使今天我給你吃的明天你還會餓呀。

　　生活幽默英語故事：餵養寵物

　　Birds in their little nests agree.

　　鳥在巢中不相爭。

　　A small child was giving a bath to a tiny and dirty kitten in the gar-den. while an ojd lady passing by.

　　一個小男孩在花園裡給一隻身上很髒的小花貓洗澡，正在這時，一個上了年紀的女士從旁邊經過。

　　A:Sonny.you shouldn't bathe a kitty in cold waLer.He will get sick and die.

　　小傢伙，你不應該在涼水中給小貓洗澡，他會生病,甚至會死。

　　***The child go on with his job.barely liatening to her.Two houra Wer,the lacjy was retumiWg when ahe saw the boy sittinS on the ground and cring.with the dead kitten lying beaide him.

　　可是，小男孩繼續給小貓洗澡，幾乎對那位女士置之不理。兩小時以後，那位女士返回時看見那個小男孩坐在地上哭泣，小貓躺在他的身旁，死了。***

　　B:Didn't I tell you .sonny.that the kitty would die if you wa.shed him in the cold water?

　　小傢伙，我不是告訴休了嗎?如果在涼水中給小貓洗澡，他會死的。

　　A:But Auntie. he didn't die because I waahed him; he died when I was wrinpng him dry.

　　可是，阿姨，他不是因為我給它洗澡死的，當我把他擰於時，他就死了。