生活幽默英語笑話閱讀

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來生活幽默英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　生活幽默英語笑話：

　　This story is about another five doctor who went duck hunting one day.These five doctors were a general practice physician，a pediatri-cian,a psychiatrist，a surgeon and a pathologist.

　　這個故事是關於另外5個醫生的故事，一天他們去打野鴨，這五個醫生包括一個全科醫生、一個兒科醫生、一個精神病醫生、一個外科醫生和病理學家。

　　A:Look，a bird is coming winging overhead.

　　看，一隻鳥在頭頂飛過。

　　B:Why did you raise your shotgun and then hesitate?

　　你為什麼舉起槍又猶豫了呢?

　　A:I am not quite sure it's a duck，I think that I will have to get a second opinion，but the bird was long gone.

　　我不敢肯定那是不是鴨子，我想我必須聽聽另一醫生的診斷意見。但這時鳥飛走了。

　　B:Look!Another duck.

　　看!另一隻鴨子。

　　C:Why don't you shoot at it?

　　你為什麼不打它?

　　B:***Muttering *** I am also unsure if it is really a duck in my sight and besides，it might have babies，I'll have to do some more investiga- dons.

　　***喃喃自語***我也不能肯定那是不是鴨子。並且那隻鳥可能還懷著小鳥，我必須作進一步調查。

　　C:But the creature make good its escape.

　　但是那傢伙從容不迫地逃脫了。

　　***Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist.Shotgun shouldered，he was more certain of his intended prey's identity.

　　然後，是眼尖的精神病醫生看到了飛鳥。用肩頂住槍托，他比其他人更清楚自己瞄準的獵物是什麼。***

　　D:Why do you hesitate since you know it is a duek?

　　既然你知道那是隻鴨子你還猶豫什麼?

　　C:Now，I know it's a duck，but does it know it's a duck?

　　是啊，現在我知道那是隻鴨子，可它自己知道嗎?

　　***Finally，a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed sky wards. BOOM!The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.

　　最後，第四隻鴨子快速地飛過。這次是外科醫生把***對準了天空。“嘣”一聲槍響，外科醫生放下槍口還在冒煙的***，扭過頭，面無表情地對身邊的病理學家說。***

　　D:Good to see if that was a duck，will you?

　　去看看那是不是一隻野鴨，可以嗎?

　　生活幽默英語笑話：

　　My neighbor, the homebuilder.Came home drunk and managed to park in the garage，but injured himself when he knocked some sample storm windows he had on a shelf .The second day，his wife talked with him.

　　我的鄰居，一個建築工人，醉醇醇地開著車回家，想把車停在車庫裡，結果撞上了自己放在架上的一些防風玻璃樣品，把自己弄傷一了。第二天他妻子與他談話。

　　A:You came home drunk last night. didn't your

　　你昨天晚上喝醉了，是不是?

　　B:Heavens no.

　　對天發誓，我沒有。

　　A:How did you injure yourself then?

　　那麼你是怎樣受傷的呢?

　　R:Oh，I injured myself on the job yesterday.

　　我是昨天_[作時受傷的。

　　A:OK，then，please tell me where you did first aid.

　　好吧，那麼請告訴我你昨天在哪裡包紮的。

　　B:I think in the bath room.

　　我想是在浴室。

　　A:Well，please explain the bandages all over the bathroom mirror.

　　好吧，請解釋一下為什麼浴室的鏡子上貼滿了繃帶呢?

　　生活幽默英語笑話：

　　***A man walked into a doctor's examining room一個人走進一家診所。***

　　A:Put out your tongue.

　　伸出你的舌頭。

　　B:OK.

　　好的。

　　***Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.

　　於是他伸出舌頭，醫生很快地一下。***

　　A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.

　　好吧，把舌頭伸回去吧，你的病因很明顯，你需要更多的運動。

　　B:But，doctor, I don't think...

　　但是，醫生，我不認為……。

　　A:Don't tell me what you think，I am the doctor，not you，I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.

　　不要告訴我你認為怎麼樣，我是醫生，不是你。我知道你需要什麼。我看過數以百計像你這樣的病人。他們沒有一個人鍛鍊過。他們整天坐在辦公室裡，晚上就坐在電視機前。你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分鐘。

　　B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...

　　醫生，你不知道，我……

　　A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't，you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.

　　我不想聽任何理由。你應該抽出時間來運動，如果你不鍛鍊，那麼當你老的時候，你就會變得很胖，並且有健康問題。

　　B:But I walk everyday.

　　但我每天都走路的。

　　A:Oh，yes，and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet from your home to the station，and a few more feet from the sta- lion to your office，and a few more feet fr om your office to a restaurant for much and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day.

　　喔，是的。我知道那是一種怎樣的散步，你走幾英尺的路，從家到火車站，又走幾英尺從車站到辦公室，然後走幾英尺從辦公室到餐館中吃中飯再回來。那不是真正的散步。我所說的是每天在公園中散步20分鐘。

　　B:***Shouting***Will you listen to me. doctor t I am a mailman and I walk for seven hour every day.

　　***叫喊著***請聽我說，醫生!我是一名郵遞員，我每天得走7小時的路。

　　A:***Being silent for a moment*** Put your tongue out again，will you?

　　***悶在那裡半天不語***再把你的舌頭伸出來，行嗎?