最搞笑的英語小笑話大全

　　笑話有時是本無其事的虛構，甚至誇大到荒誕的地步。下面是小編帶來的最搞笑的英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　***一***

　　Wife's Begging

　　妻子的祈求

　　Two men were talking at the break-room. One was telling the other about a fight he had had with his wife. "In the end"he said, "I had her begging on her knees."

　　兩位男士正在休息室淡論著。一位對另一位說起他與妻子的一場爭鬥。他說：“最後，我迫使她跪下來求我。”

　　"What did she say?" asked the coworker.

　　“她怎麼求你的?”另一位很好奇。

　　"She told me to come out from under the bed."

　　“她求我快點從床下爬出來。”

　　***二***

　　Reasons

　　理由

　　One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

　　一天清晨，媽媽去叫還在睡覺的兒子起床。

　　Mom: Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.

　　媽媽:起來，兒子。去學校的時間到了。

　　Son: But why? I don't want to go to school.

　　兒子:但是為什麼?我不想去學校。

　　Mom: Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.

　　媽媽:給我兩個理由，你為什麼不想去學校。

　　Son: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.

　　兒子:第一，所有的孩子都恨我。第二，所有的老師都恨我。

　　Mom: Oh! That's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.

　　媽媽:哦!這不是理由。來吧，你必須去學校。

　　Son: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?

　　兒子:那給我兩個為什麼我要去學校的理由?

　　, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

　　媽媽:第一，你都52歲了，應該明白自己的責任。第二，你是學校的校長。

　　最搞笑的英語小笑話欣賞

　　***一***

　　A Gentle Reminder

　　委婉的提醒

　　Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

　　結婚很久了，丈夫現在有時需要我委婉地提醒他一些特別的日子。在結婚35週年紀念日的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示他說:“親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎?”

　　Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

　　他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望著我:“那麼，你想交換座泣，是嗎?”

　　***二***

　　Three Men in a Boat

　　三人同舟

　　Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

　　三位男子在公園的長椅土坐著。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。

　　A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

　　一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。

　　"Oh yes," he said. "They are my friends”

　　“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友”

　　"In that case," warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

　　“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裡弄走。”

　　"Yes, sir." the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

　　“好的，瞥官。”那男子回答說，接著就開始瘋狂地做起划槳的動作來。

　　經典的最搞笑的英語小笑話

　　Where Have You Been?

　　你去哪兒了?

　　Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck. After a time,he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child'?" One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?" Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son, and then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go just now?"

　　古時候，有個人總是忘事。一天，他帶著小兒子出門。一高興，便讓兒子騎在自己的脖子上。過了一會兒，他忽然想起兒子來，逢人便問間:“你看到我的孩子了嗎?”有個同村的村民見了大笑，說:“你難道不知道他在你脖子上嗎?”一聽這話，這人一把將兒子一從脖子上揪下來，氣憤至極，狠狠地打了孩子，嚷道:“我叫你別亂跑，剛才你到哪裡去了?”