關於爆笑英文小笑話閱讀

　　笑話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起著重要作用。本文是關於爆笑英文小笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Girls Night Out

　　Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly

　　over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

　　Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee.

　　They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.

　　The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her

　　panties, use them, then throw them away.

　　Her friend, however, was wearing

　　a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was

　　lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that.

　　After finishing, they then made off for home.

　　The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "These damn girls night out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties."

　　"That's nothing, said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her

　　ass that said, "From All of Us At the Fire Station, We'll Never Forget

　　You."

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Wedding Anniversary

　　Sam & Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky "So, Becky, I was wondering... Have you ever cheated on me?"

　　Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

　　"Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."

　　"Well, all right, 3 times..."

　　"3, hmmm, well when were they?"

　　"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan... Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked... Well..."

　　"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me.... So when was number 2?"

　　"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that verytricky operation, and no surgeon wanted to touch you... Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again... Well...."

　　"Oh my God!! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life... I couldn't have a more wonderful wife... To do such a thing, , you must really love me darling... I couldn't be more moved... So, all right then, when was number 3?"

　　"Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the congregation.... And you were 47 votes short...."

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Firm It Up!

　　One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the buttand said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

　　The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

　　This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman and your brother."

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Last Request

　　Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when

　　Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

　　"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.

　　"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary.

　　"Well what is it, Mary?"

　　"Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."

　　"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?"

　　"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.

　　"What did he ask, Mary?"

　　Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"

　　關於爆笑英文小笑話：Saving Up

　　On the fourth day of their honeymoon, the 21 year old bride was begging for mercy from her 75 year old husband.

　　Rather than endure yet another lovemaking session, she slipped out of the room while he was showering and went to the hotel coffee shop.

　　The waitress, who had served the couple breakfast each day, was shocked at the woman's appearance.

　　"Honey, you're just a young thing," she remarked, "but you look like hell. What's up?"

　　"I've been double-crossed," the miserable bride moaned. "When he said he'd been saving up for 50 years, I thought he meant CASH!"