黑色幽默英語笑話短文

　　看笑話可使我們的性格更加開朗。如果你性格內向，那就多看笑話吧。 小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：A BLONDE & HER THERMOS

　　A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

　　The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.

　　Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"

　　She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

　　：THREE PHASES

　　A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

　　：ICE HOLE

　　There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

　　“A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!”

　　：太陽

　　A: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

　　你想成為我生命中的太陽嗎?

　　B: Aww, Yes!

　　哇哦!當然想。

　　A: Very well, then. Stay 99558876 miles away from me.

　　很好，那麼趕緊到距離我99558876裡遠的地方吧。

　　：多喜歡

　　B: How much do you love me?

　　你有多麼喜歡我?

　　A: As many as the stars in the sky.

　　和天上的星星一樣多。

　　B: Good! ... Wait! It's daytime now...

　　太好了...等等，現在是白天啊!

　　A: There's no stars in the sky in the daytime.

　　沒錯，白天的天空上沒有星星。