關於長篇英文笑話欣賞

　　因為人會笑，能使人發笑的就是笑話，所以就有笑話啦，笑話是隨著人類的誕生而誕生的。小編精心收集了關於長篇英文笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於長篇英文笑話：Trip to Mars

　　NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth.

　　The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

　　The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for theadvancement of medical research."

　　The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, "Three million dollars."

　　"Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer.

　　The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars."

　　關於長篇英文笑話：Lawyers Leave A Bad Taste

　　Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file. The rearmost tiger wanders off the trail for a few minutes, then reappears shortly thereafter. A few moments later, the front tiger feels what seems to be the other tiger's tongue, applied just below his tail. The tiger disapproves of this action, but doesn't want to start anything by bringing it up. Then, the tiger again feels the tongue, again in the same place.

　　He decides to confront the after tiger, and asks him, "Did you just lick me twice in thebutt?"

　　The other tiger replied, "Yeah, sorry about that. I just ate a lawyer and I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

　　關於長篇英文笑話：Valentines

　　A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standingat the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

　　His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.

　　The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

　　"But why?" asks the man.

　　"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

　　關於長篇英文笑話：Still A Virgin

　　A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times.

　　On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new room, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."

　　This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.

　　She responded:

　　My first husband was an IBM Sales Representative who spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be, but never delivered.

　　My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me documentation.

　　My third husband was from Field Services and repeatedly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up.

　　My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and you know the old saying - 'Those who CAN, DO; those who can't, teach.'

　　My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he had the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.

　　My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

　　My seventh husband was from Finance and administration. He knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

　　My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on how to do it.

　　My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the product, he just wasn't sure how to position it.

　　My tenth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was talk about it.

　　My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.

　　My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was collect stamps."

　　- God I miss him!

　　So now I've married you, and I'm really excited."

　　"Why is that," asked the lawyer.

　　"Well, it should be obvious! You're a lawyer!! I just know I'm going to really get screwed this time!"