關於爆笑英文笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調侃、娛樂或諷刺。它是人們生活中不可或缺的組成部分,與社會密切相關。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Limerick

　　There was a young lady of Niger，

　　Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.

　　They returned from the ride

　　With the lady inside

　　And the smile on the face of the tiger

　　打油詩

　　有個尼日小姑娘，

　　笑咪咪騎在虎背上。

　　他們兜風回返，

　　姑娘到了裡邊，

　　笑容掛在了虎臉上。

　　：青春期

　　One evening，in the midst of dinner preparation，our 10 yearold daughter asked，“Mom my， what's puberty?”My wife was rushed at the moment，so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary，after which they could talk about it.

　　A few minutes later，Peggy returned.Her mother asked what the dictionary had said.“Puberty means，”announced Peggy，“the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children.”

　　“What do you think of that?” my wife asked.

　　“I'm not sure，” Peggy replied.“I've always been able to bear children.It's adults I can't bear.”

　　一天晚上，在準備晚飯的時候，我們十歲的女兒問：“媽媽，什麼是青春期?”我的妻子此時正忙得不亦樂乎，所以她建議佩吉到字典上查這個詞，然後她們可以再討論它。

　　幾分鐘以後，佩吉回來了。她媽媽問字典上怎麼說。“青春期的意思是，”佩吉宣佈：“一個女孩能忍受孩子①的最早年齡。”

　　“你怎麼想呢?”我妻子問。

　　“我不知道，”佩吉回答。“我總能忍受孩子。讓我忍受不了的是大人。”

　　：A Gentleman

　　Dick was seven years old，and his sister，Catherine.was five.One day their mother tookthem to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

　　The children played for an hour，and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him，“Now here's a knife，Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister，but remember to do it like a gentleman.”

　　“Like a gentleman?” Dick asked.“How do gentlemen do it?”

　　“They always give the bigger piece to the other person.”answered his aunt at once.

　　“Oh” said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her，“Cut this cake in half，Catherine.”

　　紳士

　　迪克年齡七歲，他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。一天，媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩，自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。”

　　孩子們玩了個把小時，在四點半的時候，姨媽領著迪克走進了廚房。她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，並對他說：“喏，迪克，給你刀子，把這塊蛋糕一切為二，給你妹妹一塊。不過，你得記住要做得像一個紳士那樣。”

　　迪克問：“像一個紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”

　　他姨媽馬上回答說：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的。”

　　迪克說了一聲“噢”。他對此想了一會，然後，他把蛋糕拿給妹妹，並對她說：“凱瑟琳，你來把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧。”

　　：What Are The Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to use two words.One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’.Would you promise me that?

　　“Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl.“What are the two words?”

　　一個非常高貴的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。“我親愛的，”老夫人說：“我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞。一個是‘討厭的’，另一個是‘極好的’。你能答應我嗎?”

　　“噢，當然，奶奶。”女孩說：“是哪兩個詞?”

　　：你輸了

　　On her return from school，little Dolly，aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise a little baby brother.She see med glad，and presently said：

　　“Will you give me a stamp，daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.”

　　The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school.Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had writen.He received something of a shock on reading the following：

　　“Dear Tom，

　　“It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”

　　放學回到家裡，十歲的小多莉被拉過來坐在她爸爸的膝上，她被告知那天仙女們帶來了一個大大的驚奇——一個嬰兒小弟弟。她似乎很高興，馬上說：

　　“爸爸，你能不能給我一張郵票?我要寫信告訴湯姆哥哥。”

　　父親被這話感動了，他為小姑娘提供了給她哥哥寫信所需的各種用具，她的哥哥住在學校裡。後來，想知道她是怎麼報告這個訊息的，他找機會讀了她寫的信。在讀到下面這兩行字時，他差點兒驚呆了：

　　“親愛的湯姆：

　　“今天結果出來了，你輸了;是個男孩。”