關於經典英語冷笑話閱讀

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。小編精心收集了關於經典英語冷笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於經典英語冷笑話：Grave Dancing

　　A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."

　　The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge. I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line."

　　關於經典英語冷笑話：Can I Play The Piano?

　　A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?""I don't see why not," replies the doctor."That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

　　關於經典英語冷笑話： Counting Sheep

　　There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country. Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.

　　"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here will you let me have one?" she asked. The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.

　　"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.

　　Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice. She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.

　　She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"

　　The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try.

　　"You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."

　　關於經典英語冷笑話：A Day On The Bus

　　A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

　　The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

　　"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

　　The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

　　You're right," She said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

　　"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

　　關於經典英語冷笑話：What Is His Occupation?

　　A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

　　Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

　　"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

　　Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

　　"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

　　Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."

　　The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

　　Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"