英語小笑話帶中文大全

　　笑話長期以來一直被學界視為不登大雅之堂的小眾。下面是小編帶來的英語小笑話帶中文，歡迎閱讀!

　　***一***

　　A Half

　　一半

　　, lately I hear only half as well as I suppose to.

　　病人：醫生，最近我的聽力只有我應該聽到的一半。

　　Doctor:I don't understand that, but let's try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight.

　　醫生：我不太明白，但是讓我們做個小測試。跟我說:88。

　　.

　　病人：44。

　　***二***

　　Hurts

　　疼痛

　　A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

　　一位男士去看醫生，說，“醫生，無論我碰哪裡，哪裡都疼。”

　　The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"

　　醫生問，“你是什麼意思?”

　　The man says，“When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee-OUCH!When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."

　　這個人說，“當我碰我的肩膀時，肩膀很疼。當我碰我的膝蓋——哎呦!當我碰我的額頭時，它真的，真的很痛。”

　　The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you-you've broken your finger!"

　　醫生說，“我知道你哪裡有毛病了——你的手指破了!”

　　英語小笑話帶中文欣賞

　　***一***

　　Sleeping Pills

　　***

　　Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

　　鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力***。

　　Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm.He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble abetting up this morning."

　　星期天晚上鮑勃呼了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了。他到了辦公室，溜達進去，對老闆說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。”

　　“That's fine” roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

　　“好啊!”老闆吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了?”

　　***二***

　　Let Me Show You How

　　讓我教你

　　A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

　　家超市僱用了一個年輕人，他第一天上班報到。

　　The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom,and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

　　經理熱情地歡迎了他，和他握手微笑，之後遞給他一把掃帚說，“你的第一份工作是打掃商店。”

　　“But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

　　“但是，我是名大學畢業生，”年輕人憤怒地回答道。

　　"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom—I' 11 show you how."

　　“噢，對不起。我沒注意，”經理說。“來，把掃帚給我—我教你如何做。”

　　經典的英語小笑話帶中文

　　***一***

　　I Cannot Leave

　　我不能走

　　There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through,there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room." "Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."

　　一大批人在開會。最開始，發言的人講得很有趣，但時間慢慢地過去，他變得很沉悶。最後，當他講完的時候，只有一個人坐在大房間裡。發言者走上前去，對他說，“其他所有人都走了，而你卻聽到最後，謝謝你。”“哦!別客氣!”那人回答說，“我不能走，因為我是下一位發言者。”

　　***二***

　　A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died.

　　一名參觀動物園的遊客注意到一名飼養員正躲在角落裡默默地哭泣。他問是怎麼回事，別人告訴他大象死了。

　　"Fond of him，was he?"the visitor asked.

　　“他很喜歡那頭大象，是吧?”遊客問道。

　　"It's not that,"came the reply. "He's the chap who has to dig the grave."

　　“並非如此，”那人回答說，“他負責給大象挖墓穴。”