經典英文小學生幽默笑話

　　中國萬榮笑話博覽園由"歡樂廣場、笑話王國、笑話產業園"三大板塊組成。下面是小編帶來的小學生英文幽默笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　小學生英文幽默笑話大全

　　***一***

　　到底誰逆行?

　　As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard hiswife'svoiceurgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going thewrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

　　一個老人駕車在高速路上疾馳，這時他的車載電話響了。接通後，電話中傳出他老婆焦急的聲音，“赫爾曼，剛剛新聞說280號公路上有輛車逆行，你要小心啊!”

　　"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

　　“該死的，”赫爾曼說，“誰說只有一輛啊!簡直有上百輛!”

　　***二***

　　吵架可以減肥

　　Two ladies were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,

　　兩個女人逛商場的時候討論起她們的家庭生活，一個說道：

　　"Seems like all Alfred and I do is fight. I've been so upset that I've lost 20 pounds."

　　”好像在我和阿爾弗雷德之間就只有爭吵了，搞得我心煩意亂，為此我已經瘦了20磅了。“

　　"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.

　　”那你為什麼不乾脆離開他啊?“她朋友問道。

　　"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

　　”嗯!還不可以。“第一個女人回答，”我想先再瘦15磅再說。

　　小學生英文幽默笑話欣賞

　　***一***

　　死後的探望

　　An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. Shetold her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, shewanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

　　布魯克林的一位年邁的婦女決定準備自己的遺囑，提出最後的要求。她告訴自己的猶太教士說她有兩個臨終前的要求。第一，她要火化;第二，她要把骨灰撒到布魯明黛。

　　"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"

　　“布魯明黛!”教士叫道，“為什麼在布魯明黛?”

　　"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

　　“那樣的話我女兒肯定一週會探望我兩次。”

　　***二***

　　這就叫"重聽"

　　Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

　　有三個退休的老人，都患有重聽。三月裡風和日麗的一天，他們在一起散步。

　　One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

　　其中一個人對另一個人說：“這天兒風有點兒大，是吧?”

　　"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

　　“不是，”第二個人回答道，“今天是星期四。”

　　And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

　　第三個人插話進來說：“我也是，去買瓶可樂吧。”

　　經典的小學生英文幽默笑話

　　***一***

　　山谷到處是車禍現場

　　A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy the autoaccessories in the neighborhood ?" Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car onthe road .There is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough just below it, where youcan find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."

　　一個卡車司機向一山民打聽：“請問，這附近哪兒能買到汽車配件?”　　山民說：“這條路上經常有人開英雄車，前面不遠處是個急轉彎，急轉彎的下面就是深谷，那深谷裡什麼樣的汽車配件都有——根本用不著花錢。”

　　***二***

　　冷靜,冷靜!

　　In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don'tyell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

　　一個人在超市裡推著購物車，一個小孩子在車裡不停的大吵大叫。推車的男人一直溫柔地念叨著：”別激動，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"

　　A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to sootheyour son, Albert."

　　站在他旁邊的一位女士對他說道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”

　　The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

　　男人看著那位女士說：“太太，我是阿爾伯特。