簡短幽默英文笑話大全爆笑

　　以娛樂為主要目的和文體的獨立是魏晉笑話成熟的重要標誌。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　精選

　　Bull Wrestler

　　A bull wrestler was visiting his friend in a small town, and one night they stayed a little too long at the pub. Not wanting to drive, they decided to walk home. As they were crossing a farmer's field, a bull charged them. The wrestler grabbed the bull by the horns, and they went down in a snarling heap. Finally the bull jumped up and ran away. "Wow," said the friend, "that was quite a tussle. "

　　"Yeah," the wrestler replied, "and if I hadn't had that last drink, I would have gotten that guy off his bicycle.擾

　　Notes:

　　***1*** bull wrestler鬥牛士，也作bullfighter.

　　***2*** charge v.襲擊

　　***3*** grab v.抓，握

　　***4*** snarl v.纏結，糾結

　　***5*** heap n.堆

　　***6*** tussle n.扭打，扭鬥

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文填空：

　　① A bull wrestler was visiting his friend _____a small town.

　　② One night they stayed a little too long _____ the pub.

　　③ _____ wanting to drive, they decided to walk home.

　　④ As they were crossing a farmer's field, a bull _____them.

　　⑤ The wrestler grabbed the bull _____the horns.

　　⑥ They _____in a snarling heap

　　⑦ That was _____I a tussle.

　　⑧ If I _____ had that last drink. I would have gotten that guy his bicycle.

　　鬥牛士

　　一個鬥牛士在一個小鎮拜訪他的朋友。一天夜裡他們在酒館裡呆的時間稍長了一點。他們不想搭車，就決定步行回家。他們在穿過一片農田時，一頭牛向他們衝過來。鬥牛士抓住了牛的兩隻角，他們扭打在一起。最後牛跳起來跑走了。

　　“哇，”他朋友說，“好一場搏鬥哇。”

　　“哦，”鬥牛士回答說，“要不是我多喝了一杯，我非把那傢伙從自行車上拽下來不可。”

　　練習參考答案：

　　① in ② at ③ Not ④ charged ⑤ by ⑥ went down ⑦ quite ⑧ hadn't

　　閱讀

　　Dis-Comcerting

　　I had been trying to get my friend Mike-a rock' n roll fan-interested in classical music. When I offered to purchase tickets to a Mozart festival, he willingly agreed to accompany me and seemed to enjoy the symphony.

　　After the concert, I mentioned how Mozart's music moved me. "At times, I can almost hear his voice in his music and I feel as though he's talking to me," I said.

　　Mike nodded his head in solemn agreement. "Yes," he said. "I know what you mean."

　　Feeling very pleased that I had made a "convert", I asked what he felt the music was saying to him.

　　He replied, "it said 'go to sleep, Michael. Go to sleep.

　　Notes:

　　***1*** disconcert v.使窘困，使狼狽

　　***2*** a rock'n roll fan搖滾迷

　　***3*** offer to ***do***主動提出***做***

　　***4*** purchase v.購買

　　***5*** Mozart 莫扎特***奧地利著名作曲家***

　　***6*** accompany v.陪伴，伴隨

　　***7*** symphony n.交響樂

　　***8*** solemn adj.莊嚴的，嚴肅的

　　***9*** convert n.歸順某宗教者***本文指轉變興趣的人***

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文選擇正確答案：

　　① What was Mike's interest?

　　A. classic music

　　B. folk songs

　　C. rock' n roll

　　D. pop music

　　② What were the tickets for?

　　A. a moving film about Mozart

　　B. a concert given by Mozart

　　C. a Mozart festival

　　D. a rock' n roll concert

　　③ Why did Mike agree to accompany the author?

　　A. Because the author urged him again and again.

　　B. Because the author ordered him to do so .

　　C. Because Mike really enjoyed classical music.

　　D. Because Mike wanted to show politeness since they were friends.

　　④ How did the author feel about the symphony?

　　A. The author was disappointed.

　　B. The author was very happy.

　　C. The author was excited.

　　D. The author was moved.

　　⑤ How did Mike think of the symphony?

　　A. exciting

　　B. moving

　　C. tiring

　　D. nice

　　尷尬

　　我一直設法讓我朋友邁克----一個搖滾迷------對古典音樂感興趣。我主動提出購買兩張莫扎特紀念節的票，他很願意伴隨我，而且似乎喜愛上了交響樂。

　　音樂會後，我捉到莫扎特的音樂如何感動了我。“有些時候，我幾乎可以聽到他在音樂中的聲音，感覺到好像他在對我傾訴，”我說。

　　邁克嚴肅地點點頭表示贊成。“是的，”他說，“我懂你的意思。”

　　我為已使他轉變了興趣而非常得意，我問他是如何感受那音樂的。

　　他回答說：“交響樂對我說：‘睡吧，邁克，睡吧。’”

　　練習參考答案：

　　①C②C③D④D⑤C

　　學習

　　A Talk on the Phone

　　I teach computer courses, and my students often call me at home with questions. One morning I was on the phone, explaining in computer language the solution to a problem, while a repairman was fixing my refrigerator. After an endless stream of "C colon, back- slash, greater than, cd, backslash, DOS, 0 colon" and so on, I hung up and found the repairman staring at me. "Lady," he asked, are you a spy?"

　　Notes:

　　***1*** computer language 計算機語言

　　***2*** refrigerator n. 冰箱

　　***3*** backslash n. 回車

　　***4*** greater than大於號

　　***5*** DOS 計算機語言中的DOS處理

　　Exercises:

　　根據短文回答下列問題：

　　① What does the teacher teach?

　　② With what do students call her at home?

　　③ Who was in the teacher's house when she was on the phone?

　　④ Was it a long talk?

　　⑤ Why did the repairman think she was a spy?

　　電話交談

　　我教計算機課程，我的學生經常打電話到我家問我問題。一天早晨，我在電話裡用計算機語言解釋一個問題的答案，當時一個維修工正在給我修電冰箱。經過一連串的“C冒號，回車，大於號，CD，回車，DOS，C冒號”等等，我掛上電話發現那位維修工在盯著我。“女士，”他問，“你是個間諜嗎?”

　　練習參考答案：

　　① She teaches computer courses.

　　② Questions.

　　③ A repairman.

　　④ Yes, it was.

　　⑤ Because the repairman didn't understand computer language.