初一英語笑話帶翻譯

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall,while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through oldphotographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together.

　　"Grandma, " I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter thanyou?"

　　She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, itwas too late."

　　儘管我從未見過我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高貴的祖母身高五英尺十一。十幾歲的時候，我和祖母一起一頁一頁地翻著老照片，我終於認識到他們在一起是多麼不同尋常。

　　“奶奶，”我問道，“你怎麼會愛上一個比你矮五英寸的人呢?”

　　她轉過臉來看著我。“寶貝，”她說，“我們是坐著相愛的。當我站起來的時候，已經太晚了。”

　　篇2

　　Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with hislittle son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.

　　After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child?"

　　One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"

　　Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the sonon the face, then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go justnow?"

　　原來有個人記性極差。一天，他帶著小兒子出去玩。一高興，便把小兒子舉起來，讓他騎在自己的脖子上。

　　過了一會兒，他忽然想起兒子來，逢人便問：“你看到我孩子了嗎?”

　　“哎，你脖子上的那個不是嗎?”有個鄰居見了大笑。

　　這個人一把將小兒子從脖子上揪下來，狠狠地打了一耳光，罵道：“混蛋，叫你別亂跑，剛才你到哪裡去了?”

　　篇3

　　Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that gotaway". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediatelyinvited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I useboth," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious."

　　"Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.

　　"No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked hisbrain. Then he had an idea.

　　The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding thebiggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out indismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.

　　"Dear, " he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"

　　西蒙是個老練的漁夫。人們都熟知他愛吹噓“跑掉的那條”魚的尺寸。但有一天他確實抓了兩條極大的比目魚。他立刻邀請幾個朋友過來吃飯，然後著力搞清楚怎樣將魚端上餐桌。“如果同時端上2條魚,”他對妻子說，“好像有點炫耀之嫌了。”

　　“何不兩條魚各上一小塊呢?”他妻子建議道。

　　“不行，如果把兩條魚都切碎了，就不會有人相信我抓了兩條大比目魚了。”西蒙絞盡了腦汁，終於想出了一個好辦法。

　　客人已在餐桌邊就座完畢，這時主人大步地走進來，手裡端著一個托盤，托盤上是一個他們所見過的最大的比目魚。突然西蒙被什麼東西絆了一下摔倒了。所有的人都驚慌地叫了起來，因為魚在地板上摔得粉碎。但是西蒙迅速地擺脫了窘境。

　　“親愛的，”他對妻子喊道，“把另一條魚端上來!”