經典的爆笑英文小笑話大全

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。小編分享經典的爆笑英文小笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　經典的爆笑英文小笑話：To Profit from a Misfortune 因禍得福

　　A man was a butterfingers***手腳笨拙的人***. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

　　At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

　　The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deductedfrom his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

　　有一個人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業好幾個月了。

　　最後他在一個瓷器店找到了一個工作。可是才幹了幾天，英語小故事他就打爛了一個很大的花瓶。

　　經理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個星期都要扣他的工錢，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問：“那個花瓶值多少錢?”經理說：“值500美元。”他很高興地說：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終於有個穩定的工作啦。”

　　經典的爆笑英文小笑話：How did I do? 我幹得怎麼樣?

　　A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering***閒蕩***. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"

　　一名新警察與老警察開著警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閒逛的人，於是他們開車去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開這裡。”人們他幾眼，沒理他。他喊起來：“離開這裡，馬上離開!”大家都不知道怎麼回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開了。新警察對他第一次執行公務的結果很滿意，對老警察說：“我幹得怎麼樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說，“尤其是在公共汽車站。”

　　經典的爆笑英文小笑話：It's Too Late 太晚了

　　A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

　　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

　　一個醫科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

　　一分鐘後，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?英語小故事”教授看看手錶，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”

　　經典的爆笑英文小笑話：Fit for Tat 以牙還牙

　　The great Chinese diplomat Dr. Wu Ting Fang was in the United States a number of years ago. One day he met an American woman at a reception. She did not know him.

　　So she asked sweetly, "What 'nese' are you--Japanese, Javanese, or Chinese?"

　　Dr. Wu replied, "I am Chinese." And then he asked the woman:"What 'kee' are you-monkey, donkey, or Yankee"

　　中國的大外交家伍廷芳博士多年前在美國的時候，曾在一個宴會上遇到一個美國女人。

　　這個女人不認識他，就很親熱地問道：“你是什麼‘佬’***指nese***呀，日本佬、爪哇佬，還是中國佬?”

　　伍博士回答說：“我是中國人。”然後他就問那個女人：“你是什麼肌***指Kee***呀，猴肌，驢肌，還是羊肌?”

　　經典的爆笑英文小笑話：A Vacation Cruise 假日巡航遊

　　One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100. After he signs up and pays, the travel agent hits him with a bat, knocks him unconscious and throws him out the back door into the river. Soon another guy comes in, pays his fee and gets the same treatment.

　　Fifteen minutes later, as the two are floating down the river together, the first man says, "I wonder if they're serving any food on this cruise."

　　"I don' t know, the second guy replied. "They didn't last year."

　　一愚笨之人讀到一則假日巡航遊只須花100元的廣告。在他簽了字付了款後，旅遊經紀人用棒猛擊了他一下，把他打昏了過去，並把他從後門扔進了河裡。不久又來了一個人，付了錢並得到了相同的待遇。

　　十五分鐘後，這兩個人一起向河的下游漂去。第一個人說：“不知道他們這次巡航遊是否提供食物。”

　　“不知道，”第二個人說道，“去年是沒有的。”