關於短篇英文小笑話閱讀

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編整理了關於短篇英文小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於短篇英文小笑話：Horses at the Race

　　A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.''

　　The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the firsthurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

　　They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

　　At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

　　The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ''Nothing is wrong with me--it's thisbloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?''

　　The trainer replies, ''Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!''

　　關於短篇英文小笑話：The parrot and the plumber

　　A plumber promised old Miss Johnson he would be at her apartment by 11am the next day. When he had not arrived at 11:15 she locked up her apartment and went about her shopping.

　　The plumber arrived at 11:30 and knocked on the door. Although Miss Johnson was gone, her parrot called out, "Who is it?" and the plumber said, "It's the plumber." When noone came to the door the plumber knocked again. Again the parrot called out, "Who is it?" Thinking Miss Johnson may be hard of hearing the plumber raised his voice and shouted, "It's the plumber!" This routine continued for some time.

　　Eventually Miss Johnson returned to her apartment with her bag of groceries and found the plumber dead at her door. As she unlocked the door and let herself into the apartment she exclaimed, "Now I wonder who that is?!" to which the bird promptly replied, "It's the *#@ PLUMBER!!!!!"

　　關於短篇英文小笑話：Good Doggie

　　One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

　　Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse."My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill."What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died."

　　Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"

　　To which the man replied, "Get in line."

　　關於短篇英文小笑話：The Biker's Dog

　　A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

　　"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir." "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?" "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy." "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?" "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

　　關於短篇英文小笑話：How Many Pigs?

　　Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly.

　　"Is it true Mr. ***Smith*** that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.

　　"Yeth." lisped the farmer.

　　Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."