關於超級搞笑的英文笑話

　　笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。在俄羅斯文化中,笑話一直都具有無法替代的特殊意義。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：DOWN A DEEP HOLE

　　Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can't see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen... Nothing. One of them says, "Man, that's a deep hole!"

　　Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently... They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!

　　The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, "Boy that was close! We'd better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!".

　　So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened.

　　"Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?", one of the men asked.

　　The farmer replies, "Yeah, why do you ask?"

　　The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.

　　The farmer said, "Well boys, I don't think that was my goat. You see, my goat is really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I have him tied to a big, old cinder block."

　　：Purpose of the Dog

　　A Sunday School helper was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.

　　"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

　　"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

　　A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

　　：I Cant Let Him Get Away

　　A male crab***螃蟹*** met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

　　不能讓他跑了

　　一隻雄蟹遇到一隻雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是橫著走。哇!她想，這隻雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結婚了。

　　第二天，她又發現她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了。她深感不安。“你怎麼了?”她問，“我們結婚前你可是直著走路的。”

　　“哦，寶貝，”他回答說，“我不可能每天都喝那麼多。”

　　：A preacher is buying a parrot

　　Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.

　　Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.

　　Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.

　　Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

　　I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.

　　一個傳教士在買鸚鵡

　　“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。

　　“哦，絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。

　　“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右面的這根，它會背誦天主經，當你拉動左面的那根，它會背誦讚美詩”

　　“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子，會發生什麼呢?”

　　“我會從樹幹上掉下去的，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

　　：Dead Kitty

　　Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to relieve himself late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead! "Bad dog! BAD DOG!", said the panicked man.

　　He took the cat away and looked at it. He couldn't bring himself to tell his neighbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbour's porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt.

　　It took him forever. He had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed it's beautiful white fur as he blow dried it, and put it's collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor's yard, and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door.

　　The next day, he was on his way to the car to go to work and his neighbor was outside.

　　"Hi," he said. "Hi," replied Jim, nervously. His neighbor said, "something weirdhappened last night."

　　"Oh yeah? What's that," asked Jim, sweating now.

　　"Well, my cat died yesterday, and we buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!"