關於英語幽默小笑話短一點

　　英語笑話中的幽默***humor***其實也是我們融入另一種文化的視窗。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　精選

　　失物招領廣告一則 An Ad

　　After a beautiful purebred puppy wandered onto our back porch and made himself at home,my husband composed an ad for the "Lost and found" column of the local newspaper. It read: "A puppy, male, approximately nine months old, no collar, very friendly, found on RockbridgeRoad. "

　　I feared all the detail might encourage an unscrupulous person to claim the dog. As Imethodically explained why each clue revealed too much, my husband dutifully crossed out thewords. Finally, in frustration, he rewrote the ad, reducing it to a single sentence that I couldn'trefute.

　　It read: "Guess what I found?"

　　一隻漂亮的純種狗來到我們的後門廊並已此為家了。我丈夫為當地的“失物招領”欄目構思了一則廣告。它是這樣寫的：“小狗，雄性，近九個月年齡，無項圈，很友善，發現於石橋路。”

　　我害怕這樣的細節會給那些昧著良心要狗的人以可乘之機。我有條不紊地解釋為什麼每個線索都透露得太多，我丈夫就盡職地劃去一些詞。終於，出於為難，他重新寫了廣告，把它縮為一個我無法反駁的句子。

　　它是這樣寫的：“猜猜我發現了什麼?”

　　閱讀

　　女兒的音樂課是一筆財富

　　Jack: My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me.

　　John: How is that?

　　Jack: They enabled me to buy the neighbor's houses at half price.

　　傑克：我女兒的音樂課對我來說就是一筆財富呀。

　　約翰：這是怎麼回事呢?

　　傑克：因為音樂課使我們只用半價就買下了鄰居的房子。

　　學習

　　我的爸爸更加強壯!

　　Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man.

　　威爾和比爾在為誰的父親更強壯而爭吵。

　　Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

　　威爾說：“喏，你知道太平洋嗎?就是我爸爸為它挖的洞。”

　　Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one whokilled it!"

　　比爾不屑一顧：“ 噢，那沒什麼。你知道死海嗎?那是我爸爸殺死的。”

　　欣賞

　　師生問答之我愛炸雞

　　In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"

　　Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

　　老師在課堂上向學生們展示了各種各樣的鳥的照片。然後他問其中一名學生，“傑克，你最喜歡哪種鳥兒啊?”

　　傑克想了想，回答，“炸雞，老師。”

　　品味

　　上帝的一秒鐘與一百萬

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

　　He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny".

　　Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second".

　　Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

　　一男子進入教堂和上帝對話。

　　他問：“主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?”上帝回答：“一便士。”

　　男子又問：“那一百萬年呢?”上帝說：“一秒鐘。”

　　最後男子請求道:“上帝，我能得到一便士嗎?”上帝回答:“過一秒鐘。”

　　經典

　　尋找伴侶 Looking For A Companion

　　Looking for a companion

　　A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: "I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports and enjoys group activities. "

　　Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin. "

　　尋找伴侶

　　一個單身漢要電腦為他找個完美的伴侶：“我要找一個嬌小可愛的、喜愛水上運動又喜歡群體活動的伴侶。”

　　回答是：“娶一隻企鵝吧。”

　　關於

　　羅浮宮著火,先救哪幅畫?

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out inthe Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　獲獎的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”