外國最新幽默故事

　　笑話是一種增強快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現，給人以出乎意料，並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　：死在波蘭人手裡

　　A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway，I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, a big guy came in and said to me，"Hey pal, I’m Polish and I don’t like you telling all those Polish jokes!”

　　幾天前，我和幾個朋友在酒吧裡講所知道的關於波蘭人的笑話。大家都笑得東倒西歪。過了一會兒，我進了洗手間去方便，這時一個壯漢走到我身邊說:“嘿，夥計，我就是波蘭人，我討厭剛才你說的那些有關波蘭人的笑話。”

　　So I said，“"ell，they' re not against you，pal , just against anyone in Poland.”“My mother is in Poland!”He screams，and pulls out a razor. Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to plug it in!

　　我回答說:“行了，我又不是針對你說的，只不過是說那些在波蘭的人。”“我媽媽就在波蘭!”他吼道，然後抽出一把剃刀，我被嚇壞了!我敢肯定，如果他認為我身上有什麼地方可以插進他手中那把剃刀的話，他一定會殺了我的!

　　：可憐的本

　　Prior to the World Championships in Rome, Ben Johnson was asked whether he would prefer a gold medal or a world record. He said that he would prefer a gold medal because, "no one can ever take it away from me.”

　　有人在本·詹姆士在羅馬獲得世界冠軍之前問他，是願意選擇金牌還是世界紀錄，他的回答是寧願選擇金牌，理由是:“不會有人把金牌再從我這裡拿走。”

　　：醫院公告欄上的留言

　　Colloquium announcement:

　　討論會公告:

　　Research shows the first five minutes of life can be the most risky.

　　研究結果表明一個人來到世上的最初五分鐘是最危險的。

　　Hand-written note underneath:

　　下面卻有一行手寫的便條:

　　The last five minutes aren't so hot either.

　　一個人在這世上的最後五分鐘也不好受。

　　：跳傘

　　Q:Why did the blind man give up skydiving?

　　問:為什麼盲人會害怕跳傘?

　　A:It was scaring the hell out of his dog.

　　答:因為跳傘會把他們的狗嚇得魂飛魄散。