關於笑死人英文笑話大全

　　笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編精心收集了關於笑死人英文笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於笑死人英文笑話：Robot Caddy

　　A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life.

　　The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies.

　　He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened.

　　The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of theirmetallic material and into their eyes.

　　The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black?

　　The golf pro said that they did, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.

　　關於笑死人英文笑話：Choose A Punishment

　　A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

　　The judge said, "What will you take....30 days or $30."

　　The man replied, "I think I'll take the money."

　　關於笑死人英文笑話：The Mini-Noggin'

　　One day a tired salseman goes into a bar and orders a beer. While he's enjoying his drink, he notices a nittle old man with a peg-leg and a Noggin the size of a baseball. Curious, he ask the man, "How in the world did your noggin get to me so DAMN Tiny?"

　　The old man replies "I used to be a sailor, but one day, i was out sailing when my shipwrecked on a remote island. I lived there for about three years. One day a beuatifulmermaid came up on shore. she gave me three wishes. For the first wish, I asked her to be back in civilization, for the second i wished for 25 million dollars. For the third wish i told her that i wanted to have sex with a mermaid. She told me 'sorry, but mermaid dont have the right equipment to have sex. So i said "how about a little head then?"

　　關於笑死人英文笑話：Suspenders In A Car Door

　　Two men leave a store. One man walks to his Corvette, the other walks out to his moped. The guy with the moped admires the Corvette and the owner lets him take a look at it. The he gets on his moped, the other guy gets into his 'Vette, and they both leave theparking lot. The guy in the Corvette decides to show off and race out of the parking lot. He stops at a stop light. Enjoying his music he looks out the window and sees the guy on the moped flying by at about 80 mph! He can't believe a moped can go that fast! So he races up to the guy on the moped and passes him again to show how fast he can go. At the next stop light, the guy on the moped speeds by once more. Finally the Corvette and moped stop at the same stop light.

　　''How the hell did you go past me so fast like that!?'' the guy in the Corvette asks.

　　The guy on the moped, all flushed and pale, looks at the man and says, ''MY SUSPENDERS ARE CAUGHT IN YOUR CAR DOOR!!!!''

　　關於笑死人英文笑話：Brave Soldiers

　　An army Major visiting sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks "What's your problem, Soldier?"

　　"Chronic syphilis, Sir"

　　"What treatment are you getting?"

　　"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

　　"What's your ambition?"

　　"To get back to the front, Sir"

　　"Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bad. "What's your problem, Soldier?"

　　"Chronic piles, Sir"

　　"What treatment are you getting?"

　　"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

　　"What's your ambition?"

　　"To get back to the front, Sir."

　　"Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?"

　　"Chronic gum disease, Sir."

　　"What treatment are you getting?"

　　"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

　　"What's your ambition?"

　　"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir."