關於英語笑話聽力材料

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：The Hunting Dog

　　Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."

　　So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there."

　　Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!"

　　Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too."

　　So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg.

　　Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"

　　The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.

　　The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"

　　：At The Circus

　　A couple took their young son to the circus and when the elephants appeared, the boy seemed very intrigued by them.

　　"Mommy, what's that long thing on the elephant?" he asked.

　　"That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied.

　　"No, not that. What's that long thing that's hanging between the elephant's legs?" asked the boy.

　　Embarrassed, the mother replied, "Oh, it's nothing, son." She then left to get some hot dogs andsodas.

　　While she was gone, the young boy turned to his father and asked, "Daddy, what's that long thing hanging between the elephant's legs?"

　　"That's the elephant's penis, son," explained the father.

　　"Well, why did mommy say it was nothing when I asked her?" the boy asked.

　　Taking a deep breath, the father proudly replied, "I've spoiled that woman, son!"

　　：Frog Loan

　　There was a man, called Paddywhack, who worked in a very prestigious bank. One day a frog came in asking for a car loan. So he gave the frog the loan application papers. As the frog was filling them out, Paddywhack was looking over his shoulder. In the space for 'Father' the frog wrote in 'Mick Jagger'. Paddywhack said nothing. Then he asked the frog if he had enough money for a deposit. The frog said he didn't but produced a strange looking colourful glass sculpture that he said was worth a whole heap of money. Paddywhack said he'd have to talk to his boss about this, so he took the forms and the glass sculpture into his boss' office. He told his boss about the papers and asked him if he knew what the sculpture was. To which his boss replied,

　　"It's a nic nac Paddywhack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"