英語笑話聽力材料精選

　　笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。小編分享英語笑話聽力材料，希望可以幫助大家!

　　英語笑話聽力材料：A Soldier's Brilliant Idea

　　Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.

　　When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.

　　Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.

　　由於生意方面的事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門。因為有點緊急，他決定坐飛機。乘機旅行時，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機，他就尋找一個靠窗的座位。他發現只有一個靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個空座位走去。

　　然而，等到了那兒，他看見座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫的：“為保持裝載平衡，特預設該位置，謝謝合作。”羅賓遜先生還從來沒有在飛機上見過如此不同尋常的啟事。不過，他想飛機上一定裝了什麼特別重的物品，於是他找了個不靠窗的位置。

　　又有兩三個乘客試圖坐在那個士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開了。當快滿座時，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進機艙。一直在注意進艙旅客的那個士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

　　英語笑話聽力材料：I know who god is!

　　A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?

　　The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.

　　The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?

　　The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.

　　The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?

　　The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and straight.

　　The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?

　　兒子：媽媽，上帝是白人還是黑人?

　　媽媽：寶貝，上帝是白人也是黑人!

　　兒子：那上帝是男人還是女人?

　　媽媽：寶貝，上帝是男人也是女人!

　　兒子：哦。我知道了，上帝是邁克爾·傑克遜!

　　英語笑話聽力材料：Expensive Advice 昂貴的建議

　　The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.

　　"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.

　　"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."

　　"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."

　　When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:

　　"For legal services, $50."

　　昂貴的建議

　　大夫在打發走了一個就健康問題向他諮詢的婦女之後，最後來到餐桌上。

　　“你認為我應該向她收費嗎?”大夫問坐在身邊的一個律師。

　　“有什麼不應該?”律師答道，“你通過提建議提供了職業性服務。”

　　“謝謝，”大夫說道，“看來我得這麼做。”

　　第二天當大夫去辦公室給那位婦女寫賬單時，他收到律師的一封信。信中寫道：

　　“請付法律服務費50美元。”