英文版冷笑話

　　笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　跟媽媽一模一樣的女朋友

　　No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice."Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her."

　　So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, And just as you said, mother liked her".

　　"So," asked the friend, "what happened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".

　　有個小夥子發現，無論他帶什麼女孩子回家，媽媽都不贊成。一位朋友建議他，“你找一個像你母親一樣的女孩吧——你母親肯定會喜歡她的”。這個小夥子就找啊找啊，終於找到了一個女孩。他告訴自己的朋友：“就像你說的，我找到了一個女孩，無論在感覺、說話、打扮，甚至烹飪手藝都很像母親的，而且真的像你說的那樣，媽媽很喜歡她。”“那麼，”他的朋友問到，“發生了什麼事?”“沒事，”小夥子說，我父親很討厭她!”

　　篇二

　　那個“甜嘴”老公的真相

　　Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.

　　Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

　　實情

　　伯尼被邀請到朋友家吃晚餐。莫里斯，也是請客的主人，在每個客人面前都稱他的妻子為親愛的、我的愛人、甜心等等。

　　伯尼於是對莫里斯說：“你真是很好，結婚這麼多年後，你還是喊你妻子這麼甜蜜的名字。”莫里斯則彎下腰來對伯尼輕聲說：“告訴你實情吧，我3年前就忘記她的名字了。”

　　篇三

　　Sons' Gifts to Mother

　　Three sons discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

　　The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

　　Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks.

　　She wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

　　She wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes."

　　"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

　　給媽媽的禮物

　　三個兒子商量給年邁的媽媽買什麼禮物好。

　　大兒子說，“我給媽媽建一幢大房子。”二兒子說，“我給她買一輛賓士。”三兒子笑著說，“你們的禮物都不好。還記得媽媽多喜歡讀聖經嗎?現在她視力不大好看不了了。我送她一隻鸚鵡，會背誦聖經的。媽媽只要起個頭，它就可以接著背下去。”

　　不久之後，媽媽分別給三人發了感謝信。她給大兒子寫道，“你建的房子太大了，我只能住一間屋，可是要打掃整幢房子的衛生。”她給二兒子寫道，“我太老了，沒法出門旅行。大部分時間呆在家裡，很少用車。”“親愛的，”她跟小兒子說，“媽媽的心思你最明白，那隻小鳥的味道美極了。”

　　篇四

　　我家的聰明狗會買報紙

　　A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration***演示*** and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted***小跑*** off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.

　　“How much did you give him?” asked the owner.

　　“Five dollars.”

　　“Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.”

　　聰明狗

　　一位養狗人宣稱：要是給了愛犬錢，它便會到報亭買份報紙來。他的朋友堅持要來做個演示，並給了狗一些錢。狗一溜小跑著去了。但一個小時過去了，仍不見它帶報紙回來。

　　“你給了它多少錢?”狗的主人問。

　　“五元。”

　　“這就是了。你給它五元錢時，它就去看電影。”