簡短搞笑英文笑話短文

　　笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過幽默的文字或圖示來達到令人會心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學形式。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Three Criminals In The Sahara

　　There were these 3 criminals who had just robbed a bank in Egypt. They were caught,convicted, and sentenced to exile in the Sahara Desert and they could each take only one thing. When they met in the desert they each were telling what they had brought.

　　"I brought a loaf of bread, so when I get hungry, I'll have something to eat," said the first criminal.

　　"I brought a water skin, so that when I get thirsty, I'll have something to drink," said the second.

　　"I brought a car door, so that when it gets hot I can roll down the window."

　　：Pa Won't Like It

　　A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

　　"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

　　"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

　　"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

　　After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

　　"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

　　"Under the wagon."

　　：Sky Dive

　　A redneck wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the redneck to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The redneck understood and was ready.

　　The time came to have the redneck jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded the redneck that he would be right behind him. The redneck proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, dartedpast the redneck.

　　The redneck, seeing this, yelled as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

　　：Driving Through the Desert

　　A lawyer, a doctor, and a redneck were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town ***which they had passed 50 miles back*** to get some help.

　　A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the lawyer top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the lawyer was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there...what are you doing carrying a glass of water through the desert?"

　　The lawyer explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.

　　A little while later the rancher noticed the doctor walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.

　　As before, the doctor explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he had the bread.

　　Finally the redneck appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, "Hey, why are you dragging that car door?"

　　"Well," said the redneck, "I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I'll roll down the window."

　　：Extremely Sad With Life

　　There was once a hillbilly who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it.

　　Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a hillbilly and make fun of me."

　　He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini."

　　Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a hillbilly?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a hillbilly or not?"

　　This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?"

　　The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware store!"