有關於英文笑話小短文

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：Ugly Baby

　　A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

　　Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.

　　The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

　　He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

　　When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

　　His wife confessed, "Not this time."

　　：True Love

　　A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.

　　After a while the husband said to his wife: Honey in all the years together, was there ever a time when you were unfaithful to me?

　　The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one time early in our marriage. Remember when you had lost your job and the bank was going to foreclose on the house. I made a trip to town, saw the banker and we got the loan extended until you returned to work.

　　The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved our home; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that one time. Was there ever another time?

　　The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one other time. Remember when you had gotten sick and needed an operation or you would die, but we didn’t have any insurance. I made a trip to town, saw the doctor and you got the operation..

　　The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved my life; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that time either. Was there another time?

　　The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Well there was just one other time. Remember when you were running for club president and you only needed 58 more votes………..

　　：Can't Cook

　　A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives.

　　The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying. So the husband inquires, "What's wrong, Honey?"

　　"Well, I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast, but I can't cook or clean." The husband smiles his biggest smile and says, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook and clean. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast." So off they went to the bedroom.

　　That afternoon, the husband comes home for lunch to find his new wife crying again in the kitchen. "What's wrong now, Sweetie?" "Well, the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook." Again the husband smiles and says, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll have my lunch there!" So off they went to the bedroom again.

　　That evening the new husband comes home, walks in the house and sees his new bridenaked sliding down the banister of the stairs. Up she runs, and WHOOSH down the banister. After the third trip the husband asks, "What are you doing, Honey?" "Warming up your supper!" she replies.

　　：Obstetrician Visit

　　Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office.

　　After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..."

　　"I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."

　　"No, that's not it," Catherine confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

　　：Talking Too Much

　　Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.

　　However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

　　Nina's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your ideaworks on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."