高中英語笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　1

　　My school had a policy about homework. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night doing homework.

　　我的學校有一項針對作業的政策。學生每天晚上做作業的時間不應該超過九十分鐘。

　　This is how I use the time for my work.

　　以下就是我如何為完成作業而使用這九十分鐘的。

　　Fifteen minutes looking for assignment;

　　花十五分鐘找作業;

　　Eleven minutes calling a friend for the assignment;

　　花十一分鐘打電話向同學問作業;

　　Twenty three minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and does not like teenagers;

　　花二十三分鐘抱怨 老師為什麼總是那麼討厭，為什麼不喜歡我們這些十幾歲的孩子;

　　Eight minutes in the bathroom;

　　花八分鐘在洗手間裡;

　　Ten minutes getting a snack;

　　花十分鐘找小吃;

　　Seven minutes checking the TV Guide;

　　花七分鐘檢視電視節目預告;

　　Six minutes telling my parents that the teacher never explained the assignment;

　　花六分鐘告訴父母，老師從沒解釋過所佈置的作業;

　　ten minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

　　花十分鐘坐在餐桌旁等媽媽或者爸爸來做作業。

　　2

　　Near our school there is a supermarket. There are a lot of things in it. You can buy school things, like exercise books, rulers, pens, color pencils, erasers, maps and so on. You can buy drinks, vegetables, fruits, and other kinds of food. Some of them are cheap while some are expensive. On the second floor is the clothing section and there you can find different kinds of clothes.

　　The supermarket is open twelve hours a day : from 9:00 a. m. to 9:00 p.m. The workers in the supermarket are very friendly and they can help you find what you want.

　　On Saturdays and Sundays, the market is full of people.

　　我們學校附近有一家超市。裡面有好多東西。你可以買到學習用品，比如練習本、尺子、鋼筆、彩色鉛筆、橡皮和地圖等等。你可以買飲料、蔬菜、水果和各種食品。有一些商品很便宜，而有一些卻很貴。超市的二樓是服裝區。在那兒，你可以見到各種各樣的服裝。

　　這家超市每天營業12小時，從上午9：00到晚上9：00。裡面的工作人員狠熱情，他們可以幫助你找到你要買的東西。

　　每到星期六和星期天，這裡就擠滿了顧客

　　3

　　My childhood was happy with my mother's love. In my young heart, my mother was strong and healthy, and never got sick. She took me to the kindergarten and home every day, in spite of rain and wind.

　　But one day, after we got home from the kindergarten, my mother went into the bedroom and stayed in bed. I didn't know what had happened. I sat beside her and wanted to cry. My mother said to me, "It doesn't matter, mum has only a stomachache. I will be all right after a while." Although mother said so, I found tears in her eyes because of pain. At that time I knew adults also got ill and cried. I decided I would take care of my mother from then on.

　　在媽媽的呵護下，我的童年是快樂的。在我幼小的心靈中，媽媽強壯健康，永遠不會生病。無論是下雨還是颳風，她每天帶我在幼兒園和家之間穿梭。

　　但是有一天，我們從幼兒園回來後，媽媽進屋就躺在了床上。我禾知道發生什麼了，坐在她旁邊想哭。媽媽對我說：“沒關係，媽媽只是胃疼，一會就會好。”雖然媽媽這麼說，但我發現了她疼得眼中含著眼淚。那個時候我才知道大人也會生病，也會哭的。從那時起我決定要照顧媽媽。

　　4

　　Juanita: Hello! My name's Juanita Read.

　　What's your name?

　　Song Yang: I am Song Yang.

　　Juanita: Nice to meet you!

　　Song Yang: Nice to meet you, too! Where are you from?

　　Juanita: I'am from Oxford in England.

　　What about you?

　　Song Yang: Oh, I come from Xi'an in Shanxi.

　　Can you speak Chinese?

　　Juanita: I understand Chinese a little, but I don't speak it very well.

　　Song Yang: Oh, I understand English a little, but I don't speak it very well!

　　Juanita: Then let's speak Chinglish!

　　Song Yang: Or Englese!

　　娟妮塔：你好!我叫娟妮塔.裡德，你叫什麼名字?

　　楊松：我叫楊松

　　娟妮塔：很高興見到你

　　楊松：我也很高興見到你。你從哪兒來?

　　娟妮塔：我來自英國牛津，你呢?

　　楊松：我來自陝西的西安，你會說中文嗎?

　　娟妮塔：我懂一點中文，但我說得不是很好。

　　楊松：哦，我懂一點英語，但我說得也不太好。

　　娟妮塔：那我們來說中式英語吧~

　　楊松：或者是英式中文!