幽默英文笑話翻譯

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume

　　half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since

　　one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

　　一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽

　　了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那麼如果我買兩個爐子的話，不

　　就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”

　　2：

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma

　　doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or

　　threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his

　　grandmother's loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

　　六歲的約翰嬌生慣養。他的父親知道這一點，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸

　　步不離他的祖母。他想要什麼不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學才離開祖母的懷抱。

　　約翰放學了，他奶奶在門口接他並問道：“學校怎麼樣?你過的好嗎?哭了沒有?”

　　“哭?”約翰問，“不，我沒哭，可老師哭了。”

　　3：

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom

　　was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and

　　beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

　　在湯姆工作的大樓裡有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受

　　寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕 15 歲。一天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。

　　於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎?” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。

　　“我母親也是，”她說，“您願不願意見見她?”

　　4：

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep

　　during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he

　　would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg

　　ation. "All who want to go to heaven，please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After

　　whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want

　　to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher

　　standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on,

　　but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個

　　人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在佈道時睡覺。於是他低聲對信徒

　　們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的

　　人。在低聲說過請坐後，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”打瞌睡的人被這突然

　　的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，

　　先生，我不知道我們在選什麼，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”