爆笑的英語笑話故事精選

　　笑話就是逗人開心的，人傷心的時候，說一個笑話，就會馬上開心了!本文是爆笑的英語笑話故事，希望對大家有幫助!

　　爆笑的英語笑話故事：汪汪叫的妻子

　　A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor. “When I was first married，I was very happy. I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers.Now everything's changed.When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me.” “I don't know what you're complaining about，”said the counselor.“You're still getting the same service.”

　　爆笑的英語笑話故事：A Speeding Motorist

　　A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.

　　"Yes, sir," replied the driver.

　　"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"

　　"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.

　　一位公路巡警截住了一個超速司機。“難道你不知道閃爍燈和警笛的意思嗎?”他責問道。

　　“知道，長官，”司機回答說。

　　“那你為什麼不立即靠邊停車?”

　　“我本來想這樣做的，長官。”那男子回答說，“但上個月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她帶回來。”

　　爆笑的英語笑話故事：新生兒

　　Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child. Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too. One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival.“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，”said Mr.Taylor. Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about?”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，”his mother answered. “ It's no use，”said Pat hopelessly.“ He'll follow us there.”

　　泰勒夫婦有一個七歲的男孩，名叫帕特。現在泰勒太太正懷著第二胎。 帕特在別人家看見過嬰兒，他不太喜歡他們，所以他對自己家裡也將有一個嬰兒的訊息感到不滿。 一天晚上，泰勒夫婦正在為這個嬰兒的降生計劃做安排。泰勒先生說：“有了嬰兒，我們的房子就太小，不夠住了。” 帕特恰好在這個時候走進屋，他問：“你們在說什麼?”他的母親回答說：“我們在說我們現在得搬家，因為嬰兒就要誕生了。” “那沒用，”帕特絕望地說。“他會跟我們到那兒去的。”

　　爆笑的英語笑話故事：接著走吧

　　Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked，“Who is it?” “Why，Seth Smith， who is too lazy to get anything to liveon， so we are going to bury him alive.” “I'll give him a bushel of corn，” said one.“And I will，”said another. Slowly raising his head， Seth asked：“Is the corn shelled，neighbor?” “No，you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head， he said：“ Drive on， boys，drive on.”

　　塞思·史密斯被公認為鎮上頭號懶人。長官們實在懶得再供養他，便決定把他送進一個天然墳墓裡去。於是他被準備著去埋葬，靈車是一輛搖搖晃晃的鄉下舊馬車。正當這列奇怪的送葬隊伍在行進時，一些老街坊問道：“這是誰啊?”“唉，塞思·史密斯，他懶得沒法活了，我們這就去把他活埋。”“我來給他一蒲式耳穀子吧，”一個人說。“我也給，”另一個說。 塞思慢慢抬起頭來問道：“穀子脫粒了嗎，街坊?” “沒有，你得自己來。”他緩緩把頭放回原處說：“接著走吧，孩子們，接著走吧。”