外國趣味笑話三則

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國趣味笑話：打字

　　Teacher: Your typing is improving, Mary. There are only seventeen mistakes here.

　　老師:瑪麗，你的打字有進步，這兒只有十七個錯。

　　Mary: That's great!

　　瑪麗:那太棒了!

　　Teacher: And now I'll look at the second sentence. . .

　　老師:現在我再來看看第二句……

　　外國趣味笑話：父親的親筆簽名

　　Teacher: Tom, you haven't shown your parents the examination papers, have you?

　　老師:湯姆，你沒把你的考卷給你的父母看，是嗎?

　　Tom: Yes, I have, sir.

　　湯姆:不，老師,我給看了。

　　Teacher: But I can’t find your father's John Hancock on the papers at all.

　　老師:可是我在上面根本沒找著你父親的親筆簽名啊。

　　Tom : Here，sir. ***Showing his whipped arms to the teacher.***

　　湯姆:在這裡老師。***湯姆向老師露出手臂上的鞭傷***

　　外國趣味笑話：紀律

　　US and Russia arranged a competition to determine whose nation had the bravest troops. The two leaders arrived, at the designated hour, on a plateau in Finland high above the water. Each was accompanied by a battalion of crack troops, smartly uniformed. The leaders shook hands.

　　美國軍隊和俄羅斯軍隊舉行了一次比武，看看誰軍隊的士兵最勇敢。兩國的首腦在約定的時間來到了芬蘭臨海的一個高地上。他們分別帶來自己最優秀的軍隊，穿著漂亮的軍裝。兩國領導人握手後美國先開始。

　　US went first. The leader addressed his battalion of Marines:

　　美國領導人向海軍陸戰隊說:

　　"Private Jones! Front and center.”

　　“大兵瓊斯，出列。”

　　Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.

　　瓊斯走到前面向指揮官乾淨利落地敬了個禮。

　　"Private Jones! March to the edge of the cliff.”

　　“大兵瓊斯，走到懸崖邊上去。”

　　Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.

　　瓊斯敬了個禮後走到了懸崖的邊上。

　　"Private Jones! Jump!”

　　“大兵瓊斯，跳!”

　　Jones just stood there, unmoving.

　　瓊斯站在那裡一動沒動。

　　"Private Jones! I said jump!”

　　“大兵瓊斯，我說跳。”

　　The man’s knees started to shake, but he was otherwise motionless.

　　他站在那裡開始發抖，但還是沒有動。

　　"Private Jones! This is your Commander一in一Chief. I ORDER YOU TO JUMP!!!”

　　“大兵瓊斯，我作為最高指揮官現在命令你跳下去。”

　　Private Jones wailed out: "I can’t! I have a wife-and a family!”

　　瓊斯悲痛的說:“我不能跳，我還有妻子和家庭。”

　　Jones was sent away for court martial. The US leader backed off in disgrace. It was now Russian's turn.

　　瓊斯因此被帶走去了軍事法庭。美國領導人很丟人的回去了。下面該輪到俄羅斯了。

　　"Comrade Dmitrivich! Front and center.

　　“德米特雷維奇同志，出列。”

　　Comrade Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.

　　德米特雷維奇走到前面向指揮官乾淨利落地敬了個禮。

　　"Comrade Dmitrivich! March to the edge of the cliff.”

　　“德米特雷維奇同志，走到懸崖邊上去。”

　　Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.

　　他敬了個禮後走到了懸崖的邊上。

　　"Comrade Dmitrivich! Jump!”

　　“德米特雷維奇同志，跳!”

　　Dmitrivich jumped off the cliff.

　　他跳下了懸崖。

　　By some miracle, he was snagged on a branch and he landed on a crag some 50 feet below the top of the cliff. Dmitrivich was badly injured, but still alive and conscions. He was carried away on a stretcher. As Dmitrivich was carried passed Private Jones, Jones could not resist asking him: "Dmitrivich! How could you do it? How could you jump?"

　　奇蹟發生了，他被一個樹枝掛了一下，然後掉在了離懸崖五十英尺的峭壁上。他傷勢嚴重但還活著，而且神志清醒。他被擔架抬了上來。當他的擔架經過大兵瓊斯的時候，瓊斯忍不住問他:“德米特雷維奇，你怎麼能那麼做?你怎麼能往下跳呢?”

　　Dmitrivich answered: "I had to! I have a wife-and a family!”

　　德米特雷維奇說:“我不得不跳，因為我還有妻子和家庭。”