外國最新趣味笑話

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　：地鐵

　　A Yankee fan，a Met fan, and a blond are sitting together on the subway when the lights go out and the car goes completely dark. There’s a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap.

　　一名揚基隊的球迷，一名邁特隊的球迷和一位金髮女郎坐在地鐵裡。這時，地鐵裡的燈突然滅了，一片黑暗。有一聲親吻的聲音，然後就是一個很響的耳光聲。

　　When the subway car's lights come back on, the blond and the Met fan are sitting as if nothing happened，and the Yankee fan is holding his slapped face.

　　當地鐵裡的燈重新亮了以後，金髮美女和邁特隊的球迷坐在那裡，就像是什麼都沒發生一樣，而那個揚基隊的球迷則捂著被打的臉。

　　The Yankee fan is thinking, "That Met fan must have kissed the blond and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead.”

　　那個揚基隊球迷想:“一定是那個邁特隊的球迷親了那個金髮美女，然後她沒打到他而打到了我。”

　　The blond is thinking, "That Yankee fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Met fan, and got slapped for it.”

　　那個金髮美女在想:“那個揚基隊球迷一定是想親我，但意外的親到了那個邁特隊球迷，所以捱了一巴掌。”

　　And the Met fan is thinking; "This is great. The next time the subway car's lights go out, I’11 make another kissing noise and slap that Yankee fan again.

　　那個邁特隊球迷想:“這太棒了。下次地鐵燈再滅的時候，我就再弄一聲親吻的聲音，然後再去打那個揚基隊的球迷。”

　　：口信

　　It is December 30 1999 11:00 P. M.，Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Boris Yeltsin appear before god.

　　一九九九年十二月三十日晚上十一點，比爾·克林頓、比爾·蓋茨和鮑里斯·葉利欽出現在上帝面前。

　　God:I have called you here with me because to my opinion you are the three most important men on earth. I want you to spread the message that I will destroy the earth on January 1. I will now send you back. . . spread the message.

　　上帝說:“我把你們叫到這裡來，是因為我覺得你們是世界上三個最重要的人。我想讓你們散佈一個訊息，就是我將在一月一日的時候摧毀地球。我現在把你們放回去，散播這個訊息。”

　　Boris Yeltsin: He gathers his comrades and says, "Friends, I have good news and bad news for us: The good news is God exists; the bad news is that the world will be destroyed soon.”

　　鮑里斯·葉利欽:他招集他的同志然後說:“朋友們，我有兩個壞訊息:一是上帝確實存在;二是地球將很快就會毀滅。”

　　Bill Clinton: Clinton gathers his staff members and senators and says, "I have good news and bad news: The good news is that God exists; the bad news is that he will destroy the world.”

　　比爾·克林頓:他招集參贊和議員然後說:“我有一個好訊息和一個壞訊息:好訊息是上帝確實存在;壞訊息是他將毀滅地球。”

　　Bill Gates: Gates gathers all his managers and says, "I just have good news for you guys:1 am one of the three most important people on the planet; The Y2K一bug is solved.”

　　比爾·蓋茨:他招集所有的經理然後說:“我有兩個好訊息告訴大家。一個就是我是這個星球上三個最重要的人之一，二是計算機千年蟲問題終於能解決了。”

　　：理論與現實

　　One day a son asked his father what was the difference between "theory" and "reality". His father thought and then said "Go ask your Mother if she would sleep with the next door neighbor for a half million dollars.”

　　一天，兒子問他的爸爸“理論”與“現實”有什麼區別。他的爸爸想了想，然後說:“去問問你媽媽，她是否願意為了五十萬美元去和隔壁鄰居睡覺。”

　　The son went to his mother and asked her. She thought about it for a minute and

　　then said, "Yes，yes I would.’，The son returned to his father and told him her reply. The father then told the son to go ask his sister if she would sleep with the next door neighbor's son for a half million dollars. The son went to his sister and asked her. She thought about it for a minute and then replied, "Yes, yes I would.”

　　兒子找到他媽媽問了她那個問題。她想了一分鐘後說:“是的，我願意。”兒子回到他爸爸那裡告訴了他媽媽的答案。孩子的爸爸又讓兒子去問他的姐姐是否願意為了五十萬美元去和隔壁鄰居的兒子睡覺。孩子找到他的姐姐問了那個問題。他姐姐想了一分鐘然後告訴他，她也願意。

　　The son returned to his father and told him his sister also said she would. The father said，"Well son，there you have it. In theory, we're living with a million bucks. In reality，we're living with a couple of whores.”

　　孩子回到他爸爸這裡把姐姐的答案也告訴了他。爸爸說:“很好兒子，現在你就知道區別了。從理論上講，我們家現在已經有一百萬美元了。從現實來講，我們家有兩個妓女。”