關於簡短爆笑的英語笑話

　　笑話是一種言語體裁,笑話中蘊含豐富的文化元素,這些文化元素通常以文化特色詞的形式表現出來。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Maternal Miracles

　　A woman went to her doctor's office where she was seen by a young new doctor.

　　After about four minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.

　　She burst out screaming and ran down the hallway.

　　An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. She told him her story.

　　After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor and demanded:

　　"What's the matter with you? Mrs. Smith is 59 years old, has four grown children, seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?!"

　　The new doctor continued writing on his clipboard and without looking up said,

　　"Does she still have the hiccups?"

　　：How about the kitchen? 去廚房怎麼樣?

　　Jack told his wife, Helen, that he wanted to spend his vacation where he had never been before.

　　Helen said, "How about the kitchen?"

　　傑克對他的妻子海倫說，他想去以前從沒到過的地方度假。

　　海倫說：“去廚房怎麼樣?”

　　：An imaginative wife 想象能力豐富的妻子

　　A woman had a desire to have her portrait painted, and her husband engaged the best artist he could find. During one of the sittings , the wife made a rather unusual request. She asked the artist to paint in diamond necklace, ear-rings and tiara, even though she wore nojewelry. The artist did as she told him but was puzzled. "Why did we add the gems?" he asked, as they looked at the finished product.

　　The wife said, "It is in case should die before my husband, I just know he'd remarry right away. Let his new wife look for the jewels."

　　一個婦女想讓人把自己的肖像畫出來，她丈夫就約請了最好的畫家。在畫坐姿畫像時，妻子提出了一個非比尋常的要求，她要求畫家畫上磚石項鍊、耳環和冠狀頭飾，即使她沒有戴。畫家照她說的做了，可是有點迷惑不解。當他們觀看這幅完成的作品時，他問：“為什麼我們要畫上寶石呢?”

　　妻子說：“萬一我比我丈夫早死，我知道他馬上就會再婚。讓他那新婚妻子去找珠寶吧!”

　　：Barking Beagles and Blondes

　　A husband and his blonde wife were in bed asleep. About 2 AM they both awoke to the neighbors dog barking extremely loudly...

　　After lying there for the next 30 minutes unable to go to sleep, she tells her husband to go do something about the barking dog. He tells her he has tried to tell the dog to be quiet before and the dog always continues to bark!

　　There's nothing HE can do...

　　After another 15 minutes of barking, in frustration, the blonde wife retorts,"Well, if you won't do anything, I WILL!"

　　She jumps out of bed and disappears outside. A few minutes later she is back in bed.

　　The husband sat up in bed, and still hears the dog barking. He asks, "I thought you said you could fix the barking problem...I still hear him barking!"

　　She replies, "I DID fix the problem! I tied the dog in OUR yard! LET'S SEE HOW THE NEI***ORS LIKE THAT!"

　　：Blondeback Mountain

　　A blonde decides to try horseback riding, despite having had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. Itgallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

　　Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately for the blonde, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. Her head is battered against the ground, mere moments away from unconsciousness when...

　　Stan the Walmart manager runs out to shut the horse off.