爆笑經典英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過幽默的文字或圖示來達到令人會心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學形式。小編整理了爆笑經典英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑經典英語笑話： Flagpoles

　　A group of blondes in a class at New Mexico State University were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.

　　So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess.

　　An engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurementto one of the blondes and walked away.

　　After the engineer had gone, one blonde turned to another and laughed. "Isn't that just like adumb man engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：Hospital Mix Up

　　A man was experiencing chronic infections so he took his urologist's advice and entered the hospital for a routine circumcision. When he came to, he was perturbed to see a large group of doctors standing around his hospital bed.

　　"What's up doc?" he asked nervously.

　　"Uh, well ... there's been a bit of a mix-up," admitted his surgeon. "I'm afraid that instead of a circumcision, we performed a sex-change operation on you. You now have a very nice vagina instead of a penis."

　　"What!" gasped the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?"

　　"Oh, I'm sure you *will*, reassured the doctor, "only it'll be somebody else's."

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：Parrrot Boy & Daddy

　　There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him, because he was dressed in really colorful clothing. He had all this colorful make-up on, and his hair was spiked up with red,green,& yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin'at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I screwed a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son.

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：A Small Test

　　An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test.

　　They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table... then they hid, pretending they were not at home.

　　The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

　　So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left.

　　Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.

　　After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it.

　　Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality ...then he left for his room, carrying all three items.

　　The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined.. " "Our son is going to be a politician!"

　　爆笑經典英語笑話：TV Purchase

　　A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

　　The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

　　The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

　　Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

　　Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

　　To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

　　The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

　　The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"