高一水平的幽默英語笑話

　　笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關於民族性格的笑話等。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：Animal Super Bowl

　　During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made apassionate speech to rally the little animals.

　　At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.

　　The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"

　　"I did," said the centipede.

　　"Who stopped the rhino?"

　　"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.

　　"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"

　　"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.

　　"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.

　　"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped

　　：The Nonconformist Bird

　　There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter, I'll just stay right here on this farm, what's the big deal, anyway?"

　　So he stayed. Winter came and was very cold, the nonconformist bird had never felt such cold weather and was afraid that he might freeze to death. Realizing he had made a big mistake by staying, he headed to a near by barn for shelter. On his way to the barn it began to snow. The poor bird was cold, tired and hungry. "Why did I stay?" he asked himself as he collapsed on the ground. As he lay there covered by the snow, a cow happened by. The cow, feeling the need to relieve himself, crapped right on the bird. At first being angry the bird said, "Who did this horrible thing to me, how dare someone crap on me, I'll get him for this!" The crap was too heavy for him to free himself. But, after a while the crap began to warm him and he forgot all about his anger. In fact he was so warm that he began to sing. A buzzard passing overheard the singing and went down to investigate. As he cleared away the crap to his delight he found the bird. The bird was so happy to be free from the crap that he thanked the buzzard, who then decided to eat the little bird.

　　The moral of this story: Just because someone craps on you, it does not make them your enemy, and just because someone gets you out of the crap, it does not make them your friend.

　　：Don't Kick the Animals, Man

　　A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."

　　The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So hekicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kickthe chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."

　　Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"

　　：Penguins Go to the Zoo

　　A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguinssitting in the back seat of the car.

　　He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

　　The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

　　The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

　　"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

　　The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

　　"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

　　"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."