關於七年級下冊英語笑話

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Topless Gambling

　　Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

　　She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm topless."

　　With that she strips naked from the waist up, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new blouse!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers.

　　"YES! I WIN! I WIN!"

　　With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves.

　　The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"

　　：Little Nature

　　There's a lake in the woods and a fly is flying over the water. There's a fish in the water, and he thinks, if the fly drops two inches, I can jump out of the water and eat the fly.

　　There's also a bear beside the river and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out of the water, and I can eat the fish.

　　There's a hunter in the woods and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out the water, the bear will go after the fish, and I can shoot the bear.

　　There's a mouse behind the hunter, and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out the water, the bear will go after the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, and the recoilfrom the hunter's gun will make the ham and cheese sandwich fall out of his pocket.

　　There's a cat watching the mouse, and he thinks, if that fly drops two inches, the fish will jump out the water, the bear will go after the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the recoil from the hunter's gun will make the ham and cheese sandwich fall out of his pocket, and I can eat the mouse.

　　So this is what happens: the fly drops two inches, the fish jumps for the fly, the bear goes after the fish, the hunter shoots the bear, the recoil from the hunter's gun knocks the ham and cheese sandwich out of his pocket, the mouse goes after the sandwich, the cat goes after the mouse, slips, and falls into the water.

　　The moral of the story? It takes a lot of foreplay to get a pussy wet.

　　：Santa's Flight Test

　　Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration ***FAA***. It was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

　　In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

　　The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear and Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.

　　Finally, they were ready for the checkride.

　　Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

　　"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

　　The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

　　：Potato Bags

　　There was a blond a brunette, and a redhead that were being chased by a terrorist. And there were 3 potato bags on the floor, so each one of them went into a different potato bag. The terrorist kicked the bag which the red head was in and she said Meow. And the terrorist is like...oh just a cat...then he kicks the bag with the brunette...she goes roof roof...and the terrorist says...it's just a stupid dog. Then the terrorist kicks the bag which the blonde is in and she goes...POTATOES!!!!!!!!!!!!

　　： Second Mortgage

　　This sex researcher phones one of the participants in a recent survey of his to check on adiscrepancy. He asks the bloke, "In response to the question on frequency of intercourseyou answered 'twice weekly'. Your wife, on the other hand, answered 'several times a night'."

　　"That's right," replies the bloke, "And that's how it's going to stay until our second mortgage is paid off."