關於英語笑話演講稿精選

　　笑話是一種用來逗笑取樂的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學們在日常生活和學習中不時地會心一笑,還能從中學習到不少的英語知識。小編整理了關於英語笑話演講稿，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於英語笑話演講稿：Head And Shoulders

　　A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.

　　The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"

　　關於英語笑話演講稿：You Know Someone's An Idiot When...

　　You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she: Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate. Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his mind. Gets stabbed in a shoot-out. Sends a fax with a stamp on it. Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!" Tries to drown a fish. If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change. Thinks socialism means partying. Trips over a cordless phone. Takes a ruler to bed to see how long they slept. At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he put Sagittarius." Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. Studies for a blood test and fails. Invents a solar powered flashlight. Sells the car for gas money. Heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moves. Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 bus twice instead. Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport left", he turned around and went home.

　　關於英語笑話演講稿：First In Heaven

　　Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first. One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God." The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love." "Very good," said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this". "Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?". Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet." The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first. He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down."

　　關於英語笑話演講稿：His First Kilt

　　In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt.

　　He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"

　　So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later the tailor called the lad back to the shop.

　　"Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it."

　　So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.

　　When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd ye think?"

　　"Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed.

　　"Aye, and if ye like it, ye'll really like what's underneath," he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here.

　　"Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly.

　　Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"

　　關於英語笑話演講稿：Who Gets Off?

　　There were nine blondes and a brunette hanging of a rope 100 stories high. They had decidedthat one of them had to get off. They argued and argued and finally the brunette said ''I'll go.'' The brunette made a touching speech and all the blondes clapped.