幽默簡單的英語笑話欣賞

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編整理了幽默簡單的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　幽默簡單的英語笑話：Double The Wish

　　A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped agenie.

　　"I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch."

　　"What catch?" the man asked.

　　The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted."

　　"Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.

　　"What is your first wish?" asked the genie.

　　"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"

　　POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.

　　"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?"

　　"I'd love a million dollars," replied the man.

　　POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.

　　"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars," said the genie.

　　"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the man.

　　"What is your third and final wish?"

　　The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney!"

　　幽默簡單的英語笑話：Friendly Pig

　　A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a stranger's home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.

　　There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.

　　The housewife replied: "Ummm, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."

　　幽默簡單的英語笑話：New Person In Prison

　　A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

　　幽默簡單的英語笑話：Bad Student

　　A kid comes home from school and his mother asks him, "How was school son?" He replies, "It wasn't good at all Mom, I had sex with my teacher." She blows up and tells him to go imediately to his room. His father comes home and walks into his room to find he is looking at someporno mags and says to his son, "You had sex with your teacher son?" Kid replies, "Yeah it wasn't good." The father says, "Well your only 14 years old and you have done a good job. We'll go tomorrow and get that new bike you have always wanted." They go the next day and get the bike. Then the father asks him, "Do you want to ride it home or just put it in the back of the truck?" The kid replies, "I better just put it in the back of the truck." They get into the truck and the father asks his son, "So why didn't you wanna ride it home?" The son tells him, "Because Mr. Green got me in the butt pretty hard yesterday."

　　幽默簡單的英語笑話：Smart Cats

　　Four people were bragging about how smart their cats are.

　　The first was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

　　To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

　　Everyone agreed that was pretty smart, but the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

　　Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

　　Everyone agreed that was good, but the Chemist said his cat could do better.

　　He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.

　　Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the government Worker and said,"What can your cat do?".

　　The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

　　Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.