關於幽默短篇英語笑話

　　笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過幽默的文字或圖示來達到令人會心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學形式。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：The Vet Solves A Problem

　　The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the state line in Illinois for $200.

　　They brought the cow from Illinois and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy.

　　They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

　　They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.

　　They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side."

　　The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Illinois?"

　　The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Illinois?"

　　The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Illinois."

　　：And On The Menu Today We Have...

　　A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

　　Cheese Sandwich: - $1.50.

　　Chicken Sandwich: - $2.50.

　　Hand Job: - $10.00.

　　Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

　　"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

　　"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

　　"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am"

　　The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

　　： Edna Released From The Hospital

　　Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

　　Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Edna's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

　　When he went to tell Edna the news, he said, "Edna I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the live of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness."

　　"The bad news is that, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon did you say I can go home?"

　　： Pangs Of Conscience

　　Farmer Brown had been screwing one of his pigs for 5 years, when all of a sudden he was hit bypangs of conscience.

　　It bothered him so much that he decided that he just had to tell his priest about it inconfession.

　　The priest was shocked and could only say to Farmer Brown, "Well, was the pig a male or a female?"

　　"A female, of course," shouted Farmer Brown!. "What do you think I am...some sort of queer?"

　　：Pictures From Police

　　A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.

　　A $40 speeding ticket was included.

　　Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.

　　The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.